The Man in the Wall (1×6)

So we open on Angela and Brennan having evening plans…

ANGELA: Come on, honey. If we don’t leave now, we won’t get into the club.

But Brennan is busy…

BRENNAN: I really should catalog that skull. It’s in the museum’s exhibit on the French Revolution.

ANGELA: Yeah, Pepé le Pew is more important that booze and boys.

BRENNAN: I don’t think that’s his name.

They make it to said club…

ANGELA: Feels good, doesn’t it? Being with people who are alive?

BRENNAN: It’s very stimulating, I have to admit.

ANGELA: We are so gonna tear it up tonight.

BRENNAN: That’s slang, right?

BRENNAN: Is my costume all right?

ANGELA: Sweetie, it’s not a costume. It’s a cute outfit. And yes, it looks perfect .

BRENNAN: I love this music.

ANGELA: Deejay Rulz, he is so hot.

BRENNAN: It’s so tribal.

ANGELA: Don’t say “tribal”, sweetie.

BRENNAN: Why? Oh, because of all the black people?

Classic Brennan.

ANGELA: Sweetie, just for tonight, have fun, stop dissecting and take part.

BRENNAN: African-Americans aren’t the only ones with tribal heritage.

WOMAN #1: You say we’re natives of some tribe?

BRENNAN: Anthropologically speaking, we’re all members of tribes.

WOMAN #2: You better shut your mouth.

BRENNAN: I just meant hip-hop mirrors the direct visceral connection you see in tribal communication.

MAN #1: What?

BRENNAN: After the Cartesians split in the 17th century, we separated our mind from our bodies the numinous from the animalistic.

WOMAN #1: Are you calling me an animal, fool?

WOMAN #3: No, fool. She’s using Descartes’ philosophy to say she’s down with the music.

So Brennan is not good at mingling. Shocker.  Of course, this leads to the finding of the man in the wall.

FURST: Are you sure she can handle this?

BOOTH: No one in our lab knows the first thing about dealing with a mummy. I’d have to call her in anyway.

FURST: She assaulted two agents who were trying to tape off the body.

BRENNAN: They were trying to compromise the remains.

So Booth is still having to fight to bring Brennan in on cases. Fierce Brennan is still assaulting people who get in her way!

FURST: A cloud of meth covered the dance floor. I think they’ve inhaled quite a lot.

BOOTH: Are you two high?

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ANGELA: Only by accident, so it doesn’t count.

BRENNAN: Why’d you bring Tessa? This doesn’t seem like such a great date.

TESSA: We were out to dinner when he got your call. Your pupils are the size of saucers.

Ladies, ladies.

Hilariously high Brennan attempts to help Booth.

BOOTH: You run this place Mr. Hall? Interesting, you know, cause we know found some drugs on—

BRENNAN: Found them, we found ‘em.

BOOTH: Alright, we found some drugs on the dead guy. We’re gonna want to know where they came from, why he had them.

BRENNAN: Why.

BOOTH: Why he had them. Any idea who he is?

BRENNAN: A— (gets another look from Booth and turns away).

BOOTH: Any ideas?

HALL: The guy barely looks human. What makes you think I’d recognize him?

BOOTH: Bones, how does something like this happen?

BRENNAN: Well, the Egyptians would give the body a cedar oil enema and then rinse it with wine and cover it with salt. But I don’t think that’s what happened here.

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BOOTH: Bones, you are totally wasted.

BRENNAN: Zack! Zack! Zack! Come here! Come here! Isn’t this a beautiful specimen of mummification?

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ZACK: What’s going on?

BOOTH: Let’s just say your boss inhaled.

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BRENNAN: See how perfectly dried and preserved the skin is? You don’t find something like this every day. Hey Tessa, have you seen it?

ANGELA: It’s so hard to believe that you two would be a couple. You know, cop and lawyer. It’s very touching.

TESSA: I’m gonna grab a cab.

Say it with me everyone: “Bye Felicia!”

Side note: When I was looking for pictures of this episode, I stumbled upon something that actually exists…

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The next day, a rough looking Brennan is rehydrating the hands of the mummy to get fingerprints. They ID the victim and get to investigating. Brennan does NOT feel good.

BOOTH: I never knew this side of you Bones.

BRENNAN: It’s Deejay Mount.

BOOTH: You’re hung over, doesn’t this make your head explode?

BRENNAN: I grabbed a couple of hours of sleep on my couch and showered in the lab’s decontamination room.

BOOTH: You really know how to live.

BRENNAN: Angela said rap artists sometimes kill each other over the music. Jam Master Jay, Tupac, Biggie.

BOOTH: Do you even know who you’re talking about?

BRENNAN: Yeah, I’ve done my googling.

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Meanwhile, Zack is trying to understand the idea of going out on the town.

ZACK: Was it fun coming to the club?

BRENNAN: Yeah, before the drugs and the dead body. Tilt—tilt down.

ZACK: Seems so primitive. Being in a crowd of strangers, gyrating to music.

BRENNAN: You’ve never danced?

ZACK: I’ve been told I look like a marionette in a windstorm.

BRENNAN: You would’ve fit right in last night.

 Booth gets to investigating the victim’s life.

TAYLOR: How they are portraying my boy in the newspapers is wrong. If his mother was live, it would kill her. I taught him a relationship with Jesus. Do you understand, sir? A personal relationship with Jesus.

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BOOTH: With all due respect, sir, sometimes when kids grow up, they change, they move away from what they were taught.

TAYLOR: Some iniquity killed my boy. You know that word, Agent Booth? It’s from the Bible.

BOOTH: “Deliver me from the workers of iniquity and save me from bloody men.”

TAYLOR: You know your Psalms, sir. I can trust that you will find out what happened to my boy?

BOOTH: Yes, sir.

TAYLOR: Then I’m glad I came by.

 They find a charm at the crime scene. Angela fishes for info.

ANGELA: Do you buy Tessa jewelry?

BOOTH: I really don’t want to talk about that right now.

ANGELA: Too much of a commitment. I just thought because you two were going away—

BOOTH: Do you have anything yet?

ANGELA: Yeah, that’s a real diamond. Hey, why don’t you get a belly button ring? That’s not too much of a commitment.

Booth: Yeah, that’s great.

Back to interrogating and car bickering…

BOOTH: No—you know, I think I need a vacation. I think you do too.

BRENNAN: Well, I’m not the one who’s snippy.

BOOTH: Snippy? What are you, like 70?

BRENNAN: See what I mean? I think you should find a nice relaxing place to go on that vacation. Somewhere where you can get a massage, maybe do some yoga.

BOOTH: I don’t do yoga. Push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups. That’s what I do.

BRENNAN: Yeah, that’s more cardiovascular. Yoga deals more with—

BOOTH: Why exactly are we talking about this?

BRENNAN: Because you’re tense.

BOOTH: Because we’re talking.

The squint squad is obsessed with vacation talk during this episode. Now Brennan asks Zack about it.

BRENNAN: Do you ever go on vacation?

ZACK: I take my vacation when you take your vacation.

BRENNAN: What do you do?

ZACK: Go back home to Michigan, see the family. I have three brothers and four sisters.

BRENNAN: Do you enjoy that?

ZACK: God, no. I made the mistake of telling them I work with corpses and skeletons—they think I’m a freak.

BRENNAN: Then why do you go?

ZACK: It’s my family. They love me.

And our favorite conspiracy theorist is at it again, though he is building a bond with Booth despite that.

HODGINS: You may want the stooges at the FBI who are experts due to your so-called drug war, to run a comparison. But I’d say the methamphetamine on these bills matches the meth found with Deejay Mount behind the wall.

BOOTH: Come on, Hodgins. Hey, you’re a smart guy. You’re a smart guy, look up from your microscope, huh? These are real people we’re trying to figure out here, ok.

HODGINS: Maybe she was just using Mount, setting him up to get his drugs and money.

BOOTH: Very nice, Hodgins.

HODGINS: Yeah?

BOOTH: Yeah.

HODGINS: Real question is, where does she go next?

BOOTH: You’re on fire man.

HODGINS: After she left her brother’s place because that is where she met her untimely end.

BOOTH: You know what? I’m gonna turn you into an investigator yet.

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ANGELA: Jamaica? God, that’s incredible.

Tessa comes to the lab and of course Angela is all up in it.

TESSA: Umm, it’s a bed and breakfast. There are these coral cliffs…

BOOTH: Snorkeling, kayaking.

ANGELA: Oh, you two are so ready for the pre-shacking up test vacation.

BOOTH: What do you mean?

ANGELA: You have keys to each other’s places. You’ve done the weekend away a couple times. Yeah, it’s time for the ten-day vacation. You know, Jamaica’s like a dry run for living together only with rum punch and steel drums.

TESSA:Yeah, see you later. Living together? Silly.

Shades of Hannah all the way back in Season 1.

The case continues and Booth is getting all fierce. 

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BOOTH: You know what? I’m gonna spread the pain, all right? That’s my new motto.

BRENNAN: Wait, I can help spread pain. Wait!

*I can be a duck!*

HALL: It’s harassment, I’ll sue.

BOOTH: I’m gonna harass you every chance I get.

HALL: I’m not somebody you want to mess with.

BOOTH: Did you just poke me? Did he just poke me with his little stick?

HALL: This is my place. If I want to poke someone, I do it. Come on.

BOOTH: All right, how easily do you think I scare?

BRENNAN: Hey, Booth! Don’t break the cane. Arrest him and confiscate the cane as evidence. I need the cane.

BOOTH: Arrest him for what? He’s the guy who pointed a gun at a federal agent.

BRENNAN: Uttering threats or smelling bad or anything. It’s the cane we want.

Back to the Tessa storyline…

ANGELA: Get this, I called Tessa to tell her a couple places she should check out in Jamaica. She’s not going.

BRENNAN: What happened?

ANGELA: Well, she said something came up at work, but I know the truth.

BRENNAN: What truth?

ANGELA: They got freaked out by stage six.

BRENNAN: What’s…what’s stage six?

ANGELA: One, spend the night. Two, spend the weekend. Three, exchange keys. Four, sexy weekend getaway. Five, extended vacation, inevitably followed by six—move in together.

BRENNAN: I’m an anthropologist. I know the stages of everything, you made those up.

ANGELA: I did not.

BRENNAN: Yes, you did.

ANGELA: They got to stage five, and they balked.

BRENNAN: Not Booth, Booth did not balk.

ANGELA: Sweetie, it’s always the guy.

BRENNAN: Booth is not a balker.

Love the faith Brennan already has in Booth. And of course, we see them at Wong Foo’s.

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BRENNAN: Getting yourself in the mood?

BOOTH: Trying. You know, this really isn’t gonna be the type of vacation I was hoping for.

BRENNAN: Oh?

BOOTH: Tessa’s not going. Something came up at work.

BRENNAN: That’s too bad. I’m sorry. Hey, I like going on vacations by myself.

BOOTH: Really?

BRENNAN: Sure, nothing wrong with being alone.

BOOTH: No, I mean, you like to go on vacation?

BRENNAN: Yeah, I go places all the time.

BOOTH: Do you ever just, you know, sit on the beach…pretend there’s no such thing as skeletons?

BRENNAN: Is that in any way fun?

BOOTH: When was the last time you got away?

BRENNAN: Got away from what?

BOOTH: Oh, Bones, you know, because what usually happens to me…I think about not coming back.

BRENNAN: Seriously?

BOOTH: Yeah, you know, you go with someone you joke about not going back to your real life…the two of you laugh. But when you’re alone, the world is full of possibilities.

BRENNAN: See you next week.

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Oh Booth. So, do you think Tessa’s freakout was due to Angela’s poking around and/or seeing him with Brennan out in the field and in the lab?

Tessa is so much like Hannah, I didn’t realize it at the time, but its so, so similar.

A Boy in a Bush (1×5)

[From a podium on stage, Dr. Brennan is giving a lecture to a large group of anthropology students. Behind her shines a slide showing a variety of what look to be skull fragments.]

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BRENNAN: …the F.B.I. and the Jeffersonian have forged a mutually beneficial, if somewhat tense, relationship which survives to this day. Thank you.

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GOODMAN: Thank you, Dr. Brennan. Are there any questions?

After a few student questions, Booth just can’t stay out of it!

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BOOTH: I have a question regarding role of the F.B.I. in your book: Who do you base the brilliant and insightful Special Agent Andy Lister on?  Because, you know, I’m pretty sure it was me.

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BRENNAN: What are you doing here, Booth?

He’s there to fetch her for a case, but stops at the sight of her new car.

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BRENNAN: What? My publishers gave it to me.

BOOTH: Gave it to you?

BRENNAN: Book sales are pretty good. It’s supposed to be a nice car.

BOOTH: Gave it to you?

BRENNAN: How about I drive for once?

BOOTH: No, I cannot show up at a crime scene in that.

BRENNAN: Why?

BOOTH: Because it would detract from the gravity of my F.B.I. presence.

They find out the victim is a child and the squints have a hard time with the remains. Meanwhile, there’s  party planned and everyone’s invited!

GOODMAN: These are invitations to a banquet.

BRENNAN: You called a special meeting to invite us to a party?

GOODMAN: Don’t this of it as an invitation, consider it a summons. It’s for donors. When I said you should think of this invitation as a summons, I understated. It’s a subpoena. A grand-jury subpoena. Ignore it at your own peril.

BRENNAN: You’re not gonna fire us if we don’t go.

GOODMAN: No, not fire you, but I can move your parking spot to Lot M. Enjoy the shuttle ride.

Early Brennan is great at showing her humanity:

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BRENNAN: Something wrong?

ZACK: These are the smallest remains I’ve ever worked on.

BRENNAN: That’s a valid observation, Zack, but it’s not helpful to the investigation.

ZACK: Sorry, Dr. Brennan.

BRENNAN: I was at Waco, Branch Davidian compound. I helped identify children who had been killed in the fire. Seventeen of them.

ZACK: So, you’re saying I’ll get used to it?

BRENNAN: No, I’m saying you’ll never get used to it.

ZACK: So, I’m always going to feel terrible?

BRENNAN: What helps me is to pull back emotionally. Just… put your heart in a box.

ZACK: I am not good with metaphor, Dr. Brennan.

BRENNAN: Focus on the details.

ZACK: Details. Yeah, I can do that.

While they progress on the case, Angela tries to get to the bottom of Hodgins’ anger with the party invitation…

ANGELA: I get that you’re a little off-kilter. Mad at the government, conspiracy of dunces, all that. Maybe even furious that you’ve had to mount a little boy’s jawbone inside a box to find out what killed him. What I don’t get is why going to a banquet makes you angry. Anger is only fear, turned inwards.

However, she is struggling with her own job at the Jeffersonian in general.

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BRENNAN: Are you thinking of leaving the Jeffersonian?

ANGELA: I’m not really this person.

BRENNAN: What person?

ANGELA: I’m not like you. I’m not driven by the need for justice and all that. I’m a good-time girl.

BRENNAN: We have good times.

ANGELA: Cracking jokes over murdered skeletons is not good times.

ANGELA: This is the longest I’ve ever had a job. That’s because of you.

BRENNAN: If this is about hours, or time to do your own art, then-

ANGELA: Just let me work on it, okay? I’m an artist. I used to draw naked guys. Now I draw dead guys.

BRENNAN: I’m afraid Angela might quit.

BOOTH: I’m amazed she stuck it out this long.

BRENNAN: Why?

BOOTH: Oh, because she’s human. I’m sorry, Bones, it’s just that, you know, uh… Angela didn’t get the same training that the rest of you got on, uh, planet Vulcan.

BRENNAN: I don’t know what that means.

BOOTH: She’s more sensitive.

ZACK: Who’s more sensitive?

BRENNAN: Angela.

BOOTH: She likes puppies and kitties and ducklings, and, you know, Jell-O shots and, you know, dancing on bars.

BRENNAN: I know that. She’s my best friend. And Angela’s not the only person in the world who likes baby animals.

ZACK: I never got the big attraction.

During the investigation, they find out that the victim’s mother is not his biological mother; she took the child from an addict. Booth pursues the proper channels, but Brennan is unhappy.

BOOTH: She confessed to kidnapping.

BRENNAN: Margaret Sanders did nothing more than respond to the anthropological imperative. She saw an orphan, and reacted.

BOOTH: This is not a National Geographic study, okay? This is the suburbs.

BRENNAN: Why would she kill the boy? She obviously loved him.

BOOTH: There are situations, right? The kid gets sick, he doesn’t turn out to be what you wanted. I bet that you could give me a dozen examples of societies that have killed their own young.

BRENNAN: What about Shawn and David Cook? Where do they go now?

BOOTH: Back into the system.

BRENNAN: Do you have any idea how bad the foster care system is?

BOOTH: Do you? What do you want to do, hmm? Do you want to kidnap them, the way that she kidnapped Charlie?

BRENNAN: I want you to let them go home to Margaret Sanders.

BOOTH: It’s not gonna happen.

At the lab, they start to uncover the mystery that is Hodgins…

ZACK: I mean, what makes you think I know Hodgins better than anyone else?

ANGELA: You’re roommates.

ZACK: I live above his garage.

ANGELA: But you see a lot of each other.

ZACK: Not really.

ANGELA: He drives you to work.

ZACK: I’ve never been up to the main house.

ANGELA: The main house?

ZACK: It’s at the opposite end of the driveway on the other side of the tennis courts across from pond.

BOOTH: Well, he must be one of those Hodgins.

ZACK: Who are ‘those’ Hodgins?

BOOTH: You know, the Cantilever Group Hodgins?

ANGELA: Oh my God.

ZACK: The same Cantilever Group that generates more G.N.P. than Europe?

ANGELA: Get this. They are the single biggest donors to the Jeffersonian Institution.

BOOTH: That makes Hodgins your boss.

ANGELA: What do you guys even talk about when he drives you to work?

ZACK: I mostly sleep. Hodgins mostly yells at the radio.

Booth has to interrogate the victim’s brother…but both he and Brennan have to struggle with their emotional connections to the situation.

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BOOTH: Shawn, you know what that is?

SHAWN: A scar?

BOOTH: Yeah. Got it when I was playing soldier with my brother Jared.

SHAWN: Did it hurt?

BOOTH: Yeah, it hurt. But it was an accident. You got any scars?

SHAWN: My dad did it with a cigarette.

BOOTH: He shouldn’t have done that.

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BRENNAN: Foster kids are powerless. They’re treated like garbage. You’re in a position to do something about it, and all you have to say is ‘He’s not being aggressive enough’?

PROSECUTOR: Dr. Brennan, you know this boy may very well have beaten a child to death with a rock?

Booth, sensing this is personal and important to Brennan, helps out:

BOOTH: Bones, I thought you’d like to know that Shawn and David are in emergency care. Pulled some strings, you know, to make sure they- they get to stay together.

BRENNAN: That’s good, thanks.

BOOTH: It’s the best I could do.

BRENNAN: Yeah, I understand.

BOOTH: No, you say you understand, but you don’t. Not really. I mean, if you don’t like the rule, you ignore it, right?

BOOTH: I can’t have that. And if you want to do this-

BRENNAN: Do what?

BOOTH: Work on cases, you know, with me. Outside the lab. If you wanna do that, I need to know that you will respect the law.

BRENNAN: Tell you what, if I can’t respect the law, I can at least respect you.

BOOTH: Well- Yeah, that’ll work, too.

Hodgins tries to get the nosy but well-meaning squint squad off his back:

HODGINS: The reason that I do not want to go to that banquet is that the other members of the ruling elite will make a big fuss about seeing me. My secret will be out and my life, this life that I love, will be ruined. I’m asking you, please, please just let me be Jack Hodgins who works in the lab.

Brennan insists on questioning the victim’s brother.

BRENNAN: You have to get Shawn to tell you where he took Charlie when they left the mall.

BOOTH: He won’t talk to me.

BRENNAN: Let me do it. I know what to say.

BRENNAN: Do you remember me, Shawn?

SHAWN: The museum lady. The one who’s so smart.

BRENNAN: Yeah, I’m pretty smart. Smart enough to know that you didn’t kill Charlie. You don’t have to say anything, Shawn. Just listen. They give you a garbage bag to carry all your stuff, like they’re telling you everything you own is garbage. And then you have to go to a new school in clothes that smell like garbage bags.

SHAWN: All the regular kids know you’re a foster kid. How do you know what it’s like?

BRENNAN: They bounce you from place to place, and it’s never home. Sometimes the foster parents are nice.

BRENNAN: The man you took Charlie to, the man who hurt him, he knows that. You didn’t know that he’d hurt Charlie, but he did. And then he told you that Margaret would blame you, that she’d hate you. But this man is lying to you, Shawn. I can make sure that you go back to Margaret.

SHAWN: How? You work at a museum.

BRENNAN: I have a friend at the FBI. If I ask him to, he will make sure that you and David get to live with Margaret again.

Brennan makes a bold promise that Booth has to now see through.

BOOTH: Oh, man.

BRENNAN: But you have to tell me who hurt Charlie.

BOOTH: I’m gonna need your help to keep the promises she made to that boy.

PROSECUTOR: Hey, I- I can’t promise-

BOOTH: Mrs. Johnson, my people and your people are gonna have to make this happen.

SHAWN: What if Margaret doesn’t want me anymore? Charlie was her real son.

BRENNAN: Charlie wasn’t her biological son either. Charlie was just like you: someone that Margaret chose to love. I don’t think we should let that man take you and David and Charlie away from Margaret, do you?

BRENNAN: We should stop him. You and I should stop him.

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(I miss when Brennan was a human. How would she have handled this in seasons 10-12?!)

BOOTH: Look, I’m sorry.

BRENNAN: For what?

BOOTH: You have personal experience in the system.

BRENNAN: I was a foster child until my grandfather got me out.  (<———oops!)

BOOTH: Yeah, when you said ‘They take you away from your brother,’ I kind of had the feeling you weren’t talking about David Cook.

BRENNAN: Booth, I’ll tell you all about it one day, but tonight I have to get dressed for a party.

And now, for a famous line in Bones history:

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Booth steps in again, this time to help Hodgins.

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BOOTH: Dr. Goodman, we need Hodgins in the lab tonight. FBI needs this analyzed by morning.

HODGINS: Uh, I’ll get right on it.

GOODMAN: Wait a minute, what case file is this?

BRENNAN: Am I supposed to know about it?

ANGELA: Booth mentioned it to me earlier today.

BRENNAN: That’s good enough for me.

GOODMAN: Fine. You’re off the hook, Dr. Hodgins. Let’s not keep the limo waiting.

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HODGINS (to Booth): Thanks.

And now, for a little bit of B&B togetherness….

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BOOTH: You look nice. Better than nice, you look, uh… very…

BRENNAN: Thanks.

BOOTH: Bones, how did you know I was gonna keep your promise?

BRENNAN: What promise?

BOOTH: To get Shawn and David back with Margaret Sanders.

BRENNAN: Maybe I was lying. To catch the bad guy. I learned that trick from you. The end justifies the means.

BRENNAN: Booth.

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Awww…

Man in the Bear (1×4)

The Man in the Bear”

Episode 1×04

Written By: Hart Hanson and Laura Wolner

(Cause he gets it ^^^^^)

So B&B are given a case where human remains are found in a bear. Brennan is all smug because Booth was given the case because of his work with her….until Booth reveals they are being sent to Washington state to investigate. Brennan is not happy!

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BRENNAN: Why is Booth the one who decides we go to Washington state? He gets the gun and the authority; he’s the one that people like.

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GOODMAN: Firstly, he didn’t decide that you go to Washington state, he made a request. I am the one who decides where you do or do not go.

BRENNAN: And secondly?

GOODMAN: Secondly, it’s time to live a little Temperance, connect with other people.

BRENNAN: Are you suggesting I take this opportunity to have sex with Booth on a field trip?

GOODMAN: Good god, where is Dr. Freud when you need him?

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BRENNAN: I don’t understand what you’re saying.

GOODMAN: Which is precisely why I am sending you to the Great North woods. Come on now, you’ve partially digested dismembered skeletal remains to examine, that should put a smile on your face.

Soon, B&B are bickering on their way to the crime scene. Booth is getting annoyed at the disparity in their work reimbursements.

BOOTH: You know being cooped up in crappy hotel in the middle of nowhere, with a fifty dollar per diem, is not my idea of a good time either, you know.

BRENNAN: You only get fifty dollars a day? How can you live on that?

BOOTH: OK, What do you mean, what do you get?

BRENNAN: I don’t have a limit, just give them the receipts.

BOOTH: Now, you have to have a limit, everyone has a limit, we work for the government.

BRENNAN. Yeah … I don’t have a limit.

BOOTH: But, it’s not fair. It’s not fair to the tax payers…you’re like one of those thousand dollars toilet seats.

BRENNAN: I imagine I am treated differently than you b/c I have an indispensable skill.

BOOTH: Indispensable … I do not need you.

BRENNAN: Oh, so you can determine the origin of the kerf marks as well as the sex and age of the victim?

BOOTH: You know you’re a smart ass, you know that?

BRENNAN: Objectively I’d say I’m very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass.

BOOTH: You know what? I’ll tell you what … you can take me out to dinner. Put me on your tab.

BRENNAN: That doesn’t seem ethical.

BOOTH: You still want that gun now, don’t you? Hm?

BRENNAN: We’ll start with breakfast.

Their bickering turns serious when Brennan challenges him about town size and he reveals she’s not the only one who’s traveled around the world for her job.

BOOTH: Small town America; gotta love it.

BRENNAN: This is not a small town. Chiantla, Guatemala, 150 people, no running water. That’s a small town.

BOOTH: I said small town America, not small town Guatemala. And I’ve been there too, by the way.

BRENNAN: What took you to Guatemala? Eco-tourism?

BOOTH: I went down to shoot somebody through the heart from 1500 feet.

Soon, Brennan starts catching the eye of the men in the small town. Enter the UPS guy, Charlie.

CHARLIE: Hey, Temperance Brennan…I’m reading your book. It gave me a few ideas if I ever want to kill someone and get rid of the body.

A problem Brennan will have later, but moving on…

The sheriff tries to hit up Brennan as well:

SHERIFF: Can I help you?

BRENNAN: Yeah, thanks, I’m with him (points to Booth).

SHERIFF: Suddenly I wish I was FBI.

But Booth isn’t having it.

BOOTH: Oh, yeah, now that you’ve met Bones, you’re all about the inter-agency cooperation.

SHERIFF: Bones? Now I don’t think that’s anyway to talk to a lady.

BRENNAN: Thank you.

SHERIFF: Do you have dinner plans?

BOOTH: We’re working.

Meanwhile, Hodgins and Zach are going back and forth as usual at the lab!

HODGINS: How did a bear open up a suitcase?

ZACK: I saw a documentary once where a bear got into a car and drove away.

HODGINS: That was not a documentary, it was a cartoon.

Then the cute delivery girl gives them a new competition, because Hodgins swoops in and takes delivery of the box meant for Zach…

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ZACK: You bogarted my package.

HODGINS: You panicked and froze my man, thus the package came into play. Also incorrect use of verb bogarted.

You know how Angela needed to hear her job description by Goodman’s deep voice? Apparently Brennan likes a Native American voice…

SHERMAN: Ever hear of the Bone Gatherers? Collecting bones so that the dead can make the journey to the next world?

BRENNAN: Not even sure I believe in the next world.

SHERMAN: Doesn’t matter what you believe in. You’re a Bone Gatherer, that’s a good thing helping the spirits move on.

BRENNAN: Thank you. That’s probably the best job description I’ll ever get.

Of course, Charlie is still trying to put the moves on Brennan:

CHARLIE: Do you do all the stuff the girl in your book does?

BRENNAN: I’m slightly uncomfortable discussing that with you.

CHARLIE: No, I’m not talking about the sex…I’m talking about the running, and the shooting. I mean, if you do all that other stuff that’s great too for you and…uh…whoever you’re doing it with.

Sorry Charlie, it will take a good six seasons before they do ALL the stuff from her books!

Brennan displays her great social conversational skills…

SHERIFF: Have you ever…?

BRENNAN: I’ve never been offered human flesh before.

BOOTH: Maybe if you’ve had?

BRENNAN: It’s an interesting question. I would have to measure my own social inculcation against objective scientific inquiry.

BOOTH: Ok, that’s sick.

It’s not going any better at the lab, though…

ZACK: Yes, and these drag marks is where the flesh was ripped right off the bone.

ANGELA: Ugh, it’s like a zombie movie.

HODGINS: Where is my bear poop?

And the King of the Lab jostling continues-

HODGINS: She likes me more than she likes you.

ZACK: She said I was sweet.

HODGINS: I made her laugh. We have a tentative coffee date.

ZACK: She said she wanted to eat me up.

Just as Booth gets territorial over the Washington guys and his Bones, Brennan doesn’t like her friend making any moves on her FBI agent!

ANGELA: Hey Booth, I’ve got a thing for tattoos, you got any?

BRENNAN: (stern voice) Angela.

As the case progresses, Angela is able to focus on the important things…

ANGELA: So, did you catch the guy?

BRENNAN: No, Booth lost him in the woods.

BOOTH: Whoa, wait a second, I didn’t lose him.

BRENNAN: You didn’t catch him.

ANGELA: So you two have the night free?

BOOTH: Give me the phone.

BRENNAN: It’s not safe to drive and talk on the cell phone.

ANGELA: Are you two fighting?

BOOTH: Professional pride, tell her. Please tell her that.

BRENNAN: Booth wants you to know that he lost the guy because his flashlight died.

BOOTH: And because he’s an Indian and he’s a park ranger and he’s very very familiar with the territory, tell her that.

BRENNAN: Did you hear that?

ANGELA: Yeah, something about Indian territory?

BOOTH: Give me the phone…hold on… (takes phone from Brennan)

BRENNAN: What?

BOOTH: Plus you know what? It wasn’t even my flashlight ok? It was the Sheriff’s flashlight and his batteries they ran out, ok?

BRENNAN: Good night Angela.

ANGELA: Hey, you have to take that man for a drink…and have a little fun yourself.

Of course, Brennan is the belle of the ball in this small town bar. Every suspect gets a turn around the floor with her until Booth cuts in…I’m sure for ONLY professional reasons…

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BRENNAN: What happened to your shirt?

BOOTH: Well, we’re in a bar, it’s a look.

BRENNAN: Everybody is pumping me.

BOOTH: Sorry?

BRENNAN: For information on the case.

BOOTH: Bones, they’re only pretending to be interested in the case.

BRENNAN: Why?

BOOTH: They’re hitting on you.

BRENNAN: Are you sure?

BOOTH: Yes, I’m sure. You’re the hottest thing this town has seen in a long time.

That makes two of you, Booth.

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And Hodgins is feeling it back at the lab.

ANGELA: Want to get something to eat?

HODGINS: Nooo….

ANGELA: Ah, you’re expecting a delivery tonight.

HODGINS: Zack is.

ANGELA: And you’re going to zoom him.

HODGINS: Like the Indy 500 baby!

And apparently B&B parted ways at the end of the night, because Booth is cranky this morning about it!!

BOOTH: You didn’t come down for breakfast Bones.

BRENNAN: Wasn’t hungry. Sorry you had to pay for your own meal.

BOOTH: Called your room, there was no answer.

BRENNAN: Why the sudden interest in my morning habits, Booth?

BOOTH: Well, I just thought we were going to get something to eat. And, you know…so I waited and my eggs got cold. Cold eggs.

B&B are learning that everyone in this town is crazy…

DENISE: We consume or we’re consumed. We’re consumed by greed, by ambition, lust, jealousy… Even, just regular love is a form of cannibalism. I mean the whole perfect idea of love is that two people become one…now that’s a kind of consumption. And let me tell ya, if I ate Adam, there wouldn’t be anything left.

**So, did B&B “consume’ each other? How does Denise’s theory hold up?**

BOOTH: And the whole rant thing the vet lady had about people consuming each other, that was wacky.

BRENNAN: Yeah, but kind of true, don’t you think?

**Hm….why does Brennan agree? Is it because at this point, she is so anti-permanent relationships? Does she secretly want to become one with a person like that? Is this what scares her off of the whole thing till season 6??**

No time to consider these things, because Brennan figures out it’s the doctor who is the cannibal.

BRENNAN: Rigby didn’t miss it …moments like this is why I need a gun. (Booth stops and bends down to unstrap a gun that is against his ankle) Where else do you keep them?

BOOTH: That is for self defense, so you don’t just go blasting away in there.

BRENNAN: What if I have to shoot? What part of the body should I hit?

BOOTH: The part that isn’t me…just stay back.

Brennan ends up clocking Dr. Rigby with a bedpan lol

Back at the lab, Angela can’t wait to see who is King of the Delivery Girl…

HODGINS: What are you doing here?

ANGELA: You kidding? It’s like watching the clash of the horny titans.

But the delivery gal surprises them by picking Angela. Hodgins is not disappointed, but Zack is.

HODGINS: That is so hot!

ZACK: Why, why is that hot? It’d be hotter if she chosen me.

We end with a B&B wrap-up convo. Brennan ponders her version of the chicken-and-the-egg conundrum:

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BOOTH: The guy is nuts.

BRENNAN: Yes, but is he nuts because he got a brain disease from eating human flesh or was he already nuts the first time he ate flesh or did he just lick his fingers after surgery?

So Brennan doesn’t take the opportunity to get to know Booth better on this trip (in the way Angela and Goodman were hoping!) but she does take the easy route and talks to non-risky UPS guy Charlie:

BRENNAN: You know, I’m going to come back up here this winter. Charlie says the skiing is great.

BOOTH: Oh, so it’s Charlie.

BRENNAN: Yeah, the overnight guy.

BOOTH: Yeah, I know who he is.

BRENNAN: I bet he’s a great skier…his hips and thighs are perfectly developed for strength and maneuverability.

BOOTH: That’s good…I’m done.

BRENNAN: What? Not good? Want some cornflakes? Want some?

BOOTH: No.

No, Brennan, he doesn’t want your cornflakes. He wants to have little Boothy babies with you. But, as we know, everything happens eventually! 🙂

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Thoughts? Questions? Concerns?

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Boy in a Tree (1×3)

Summary: Booth frantically tries to keep control over his job and life while the squints basically disrupt all of it. (Oh, also a fancy prep school kid is found in a tree and it appears to be suicide, except for it isn’t.)

We open up on Zach and his lady problems with Naomi from Paleontology (which sounds to me like Jake from State Farm lol). Naomi and Zach hooked up but she’s not talking to Zach anymore. Hodgela assists.

Zach: She said take a hint but when I asked ‘what hint?’ Naomi said if she told me what hint that it wouldn’t be a hint anymore it would be a statement. I understood the individual words but I do not comprehend her meaning.

Angela: Did you tell Naomi that?

Zach: Yes. She said ask your friends, if I have any.

Hodgins: Get out there and bring us home a case, buddy.

Poor Booth is stuck driving with his newly acquired squint squad to a crime scene, which he really regrets when Zach asks him for love advice:

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Zach: Successful with woman, right? I mean they like you? If a woman said, to you, take a hint, what would that mean?

Booth: Could we just concentrate on the job?

Zach: You call after every sexual encounter, Right? Because that’s the good thing to do.

Booth: Look, this is a work mode. This is a work zone. Do not talk sex at work. All right, look, we’ve got about a forty-five minute drive. What do you say we pass it in quiet meditation.

[After arriving]

Zach: Can I talk now?

Booth: No.

Brennan: That’s not fair.

Booth: My car, my rules. Period.

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Booth tries to reestablish dominance in his introduction…

Booth: FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth and a forensic anthropologist. 

…but they don’t let him…

Brennan: Dr. Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian institute. 

Zach: Plus one crack assistant.

Booth talks to the headmaster and sheriff about what they know and says,

Booth: Gentleman, give my forensic anthropologist some room.

Brennan: Your forensic anthropologist? 

Give it up Booth. LOL.

Booth: I want my own card. 

Brennan: Well, I want my own gun. 

Booth: Last time you had a gun you shot someone. 

Zach: He was a bad guy. 

You know when your coworkers are getting on your last nerve and you feel a migraine forming behind your eyes? And its only 9:30 am? Yeah, I’m getting that feeling from Booth right about now!

Booth: Let it go Bones, move on. 

Brennan: Don’t call me Bones!

Don’t worry, Dr. B, you’ll grow to love it. 🙂

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Meanwhile, B&B are exasperating the others in the case:

Booth: Well, I would like to declare it a murder just to shake those little bast… 

Brennan: I’m not gonna declare it a murder so you can shake things up.  

Santana: [sighs] 

Goodman comes in with some science humor.

Santana: Look, you’re very experienced within your field with bones and such, right? Doesn’t your gut say suicide? 

Brennan: I don’t actually use my gut for that, Sir. 

Booth: She really, really doesn’t. 

Goodman: Like all of us at the Jeffersonian, Dr. Brennan prefers science to the digestive track. 

Booth: My gut says it stinks. 

Dr. Goodman: If he smells with his gut what does he use his nose for? 

Brennan: [laughs] 

I think at this point, Booth is regretting this whole partner thing very much… Early Brennan, though slow to understand social situations, is able to reason out Booth’s dislike for this fancy school.

Brennan: What’s with you and the private school? 

Booth: I thought we understood each other. 

Brennan: Oh it’s that bad? 

Booth: I don’t…I don’t like people who think they’re better than other people. 

Brennan: Some people ARE better than other people. 

Booth: All men are created equal either you believe that or you don’t. 

Brennan: Some people are smarter than others there’s no use being offended by the fact.                       

Booth: We tell them that their son was found dead. We’re looking into it. Sorry for your loss and we are. 

Brennan: What? 

Booth: Sorry for their loss. It’s sad. Try to remember that.

 Brennan: Uh, I’m not a sociopath. 

Booth: You’re bad with people, okay. No use being offended by the fact. 

Boom. Roasted. Good one, Booth.

Meanwhile, back at the lab, Hodgela is still helping Zach with his lady problem.

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Zach: What did Naomi mean when she said take a hint? What did I do wrong? 

Hodgins: It’s not what you did wrong. It’s what you didn’t do. 

Zach: Where do you learn this stuff? 

Hodgins: There are some things you learn by doing… riding a bike, driving a car, pleasing a woman. 

Zach: I can’t ride a bike or drive a car. 

Hodgins: Or apparently please a woman. 

Zach: I need specific instructions, a list of techniques to implement or a sequence of moves. 

(Zach, read Brennan’s books!)

Hodgins: I’m not really the guy to talk to about that. 

Zach: Why not? You’ve slept with like, ten thousand women.

Oh, really?

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Ok, yeah, I could buy that. lol

Hodgins: Because our relationship is all about what’s up here. What you need to do is talk to someone more earthy.

Gee, I wonder who he means?!

So mid-investigation, Booth introduces Brennan to Sid (RIP!) which is kind of a big deal…however, the rest of the squints trail in…

Booth: You know this is kinda my little getaway place. You know? 

They ignore him.

Booth: Please everyone. You know come on just sit down. 

Poor Boothy.

Back at the case, Brennan gives the deceased’s mom her most solemn vow.

Brennan: I promise you I will find out the truth. 

And Booth is learning you can’t keep Brennan out of the way out in the field:

Booth: Stay here. 

Brennan: Yeah right, that’s gonna happen. 

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And she not-so-helpfully helps Booth question suspects:

Headmaster: Given your hostility. It’s time we bring in a lawyer to advise us.

Booth: Or you take my advice. If you don’t answer my questions, I’ll take you down to FBI headquarters in hand cuffs.

Brennan: He’ll do it. He doesn’t like you. 

And B&B are still feeling each other up. Out.

Brennan: You’re the least objective person I have ever met. 

Booth: Thank you. 

Brennan: It’s not a compliment. 

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Back the lab, Zach is still struggling with Naomi but knows just the right “earthy” person to ask!

Zach: Sometime when you’re not busy, I wonder if I could ask you a few questions about sexual positions. 

Booth: If you even try, I will take out my gun and shoot you between the eyes. 

This is not Booth’s day.

But to make it worse, Brennan is not supporting his murder theory.

Brennan: This finding is congruent with suicide. 

Booth: I do not accept that. 

Brennan: It’s a fact; you can’t not accept a fact.  

Booth: Then you’ll stop my investigation. The school trying to cover up a murder and you’re helping them. 

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But Angela steps in to talk it out with Brennan.

Angela: Honey, did you ever just believe something, despite the evidence, just know it was true? 

Brennan: No, I’ve hoped things. I will always know the difference between hope and fact. I’m the only one who cares about the truth of what Nestor’s life came to in the end. Good or bad, and I know the truth is more important than anything else. 

Angela: You know or you hope it’s true? 

Brennan: Suicide is the most rational, logical explanation. What I believe doesn’t matter. What makes me sad doesn’t matter. 

Angela gets real with Booth too:

Angela: That cynicism you affect Booth–it’s your way of hiding your deeply romantic nature. 

We find out that it was a fellow student who committed the murder, somehow getting the victim up in a tree by herself ????

Brennan: Nestor was going to go to the headmaster and expose you so you dosed him with Ketamine and hauled him up into the tree. The DNA traces in the rope will prove that. 

Brennan then tells the mom her son died doing the right thing, and Booth is pleased. When the partners are working together…. it works!

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Back at Sid’s, Booth is hoping Sid will kick the squints out but he doesn’t. He still tries to exert some sort of ownership:

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Booth: Okay fine, new rules that counter is mine. That booth is yours everything else around here alright, mine, alright, mine…M-I-N-E, mine.  

Brennan ignores him but reveals she is starting to notice something intriguing about him:

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Brennan: I’ve been thinking about your whole ‘something stinks’ aptitude. I think you have a subconscious knack for reading body language, stress in the voice, other subtle but discernable indicators. It’s not mysterious but it is impressive and in the future, I will try to record it in an appropriate degree of objective worth. 

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Booth: Thank you Temperance. Appreciate that. So, uh, what part of ‘this is mine’ did you not understand? Do I have to say it in Latin? 

LOL, Booth you are so much of a goner already and you don’t even know it yet.

Brennan: [Places a Jeffersonian ID on the bar] Abset invidia. (no offense)

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Booth: Nice. 

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…or maybe he DOES know he’s a goner already.

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Thoughts?

Episode trivia:

*Soon after this episode aired, Fox ordered a full season of Bones due to the fact that the first three episodes of the show consistently ranked #1 among key demographics in the Tuesday 8:00 p.m. timeslot.

*Toby Hemingway who plays Tucker Pattison went on to appear in 8 of the 13 episodes of the short-lived Bones spin-off The Finder (2012) .

*The episode was written and filmed prior to “The Man in the S.U.V“, which was aired as the series’ second episode.