“A Man on Death Row”
Written By: Noah Hawley
Directed by: David Jones
BRENNAN: You know my name.
BOOTH: Bones, you are making an official request to the FBI to be allowed to carry a concealed weapon. I have to follow protocol.
BRENNAN: It’s ridiculous.
BOOTH: Fine, then we’re done here. Do you wanna get some coffee…?
BRENNAN: My name is Dr Temperance Brennan.
BOOTH: Reason for wanting a gun?
BRENNAN: To shoot people.
BOOTH: Not a good response.
BRENNAN: It’s the truth.
BOOTH: You know, I’m writing “self-defense in the performance of my duties pursuing suspected felons as contracted out to the FBI.”
BRENNAN: So I can shoot them.
BOOTH: Ever been charged with a felony?
BRENNAN: Charged, or convicted?
BRENNAN: You know I have.
BOOTH: I have to ask the questions.
BRENNAN: Bureaucratic nonsense.
BOOTH: Nevertheless, name of the arresting officer?
BRENNAN: You… Special Agent Seeley Booth. Do you need me to spell that for you?
BOOTH: I can sound that out.
BRENNAN: So when do I get the gun?
BOOTH: You can’t have a gun.
BRENNAN: Why not?
BOOTH: Because you were charged with a felony.
BRENNAN: Write down that you were wrong to charge me.
BOOTH: Oh, there’s no space for that.
BRENNAN: Why’d we go through all of this if you were never going to give me a gun?
BOOTH: You have a constitutional right to apply for a weapon. I would never deny your constitutional right.
BRENNAN: But I need a gun!
BOOTH: Rules are rules.
BRENNAN: Tell them that I shot a murderer who was going to light me on fire.
BOOTH: Which is why you weren’t convicted. But you did shoot an unarmed man. I… I can’t ignore that. I swore an oath to protect society from people who shoot people.
BRENNAN: It was only his leg, and he’s in jail for the rest of his life, how much is he gonna use it anyway?
BOOTH: You have the right to an appeal.
BOOTH: Bones, you don’t need a gun. If anyone needs shooting, I’ll do it.
BRENNAN: What if you’re injured or dead, and someone still needs shooting? Well, I’m not hoping it’ll happen, I’m just stating a possibility.
BOOTH: Come on, you know what, Bones? You’re a professor; you’re not an FBI agent. Use your mutant powers… just talk people to death.
A defense attorney comes onto the scene and we hear a name that has a prominent place in Bones lore.
AMY: You remember Howard Epps?
BOOTH: Not likely to forget him.
AMY: Howard Epps deserves five minutes of consideration from the man who put him on death row.
BOOTH: I arrested Howard Epps, okay? It was the jury who sentenced him to die.
She gets Booth to take a meeting with Epps.
BOOTH: I’d ask how you were doing, Howard, but I guess we both know the answer.
EPPS: Agent Booth. Did you come to apologize?
BOOTH: I’m not the one who beat a 17-year-old girl to death. Your attorney wants me to look you in the face.
BOOTH: She thinks you’re innocent.
EPPS: She’s right about that. I didn’t kill anybody. Unlike you, the sniper.
Oh, Booth. No one lets you forget that.
But back in the lab, important things are being discovered. Hodgins and Zack are racing beetles!
HODGINS: What if they get mixed up?
ZACK: I can tell them apart. That’s Jeff, and that’s Ollie. I win.
HODGINS: What do you… what? That one was mine.
ZACK: You had Jeff, I had Ollie. Ollie won. You owe me a buck.
HODGINS: You want in on the action, Angela?
ANGELA: No, thank you. I’m going to go have sex.
ANGELA: (to Brennan) Sure you don’t want to come? Troy can call a friend.
BRENNAN: I’ve been waiting months for these. It’s a partial skeleton from southern France. The Institute…
ANGELA: You know, the whole point of the week is the weekend. This is not the cabaret, my friend. Life is the cabaret. Come to the cabaret. It’s like describing the moon to a mole.
HODGINS: I demand another beetle, alright? Jeff’s got a groin pull.
ZACK: Arthropods do not possess groins. Pay up.
Love that squint squad!
Booth comes in and asks Brennan for help on the Epps case.
BOOTH: It’s a weekend deal. Off the books. But if you have plans…
BRENNAN: Wait. This is a personal favor you’re asking?
BOOTH: Not for me, for Amy.
BRENNAN: Well, your personal favor would be for Amy, but mine would be for you, strictly speaking.
BOOTH: Please do me a favor. Please?
Brennan’s response is very telling. She jumps right in to do this favor for her partner. She turns Angela down, but can find the time for Booth!
BRENNAN: Any remains withheld from burial?
BOOTH: Not after the last appeal.
BRENNAN: I’d need X-rays from the ME and the coroner. Originals, the copies are useless. Bone scrapings, lab results, tox screens.
BOOTH: All the evidence will be here within an hour.
BRENNAN: I’ll ask the others, but I won’t order them. They might have plans.
BOOTH: It’s Friday night, and they’re racing beetles.
Hodgins gets confused by Booth’s involvement in this case.
BRENNAN: Because Booth was the agent that arrested Howard Epps in the first place.
HODGINS: Wait. You’re trying to save someone you arrested for murder?
Booth and his code of honor always seem to be clashing with his self-preservation. While he talks with the victim’s parents, Brennan works with Epps’ defense attorney. And the subject of Booth is on their minds 🙂
AMY: So, are you seeing each other?
AMY: You and Booth.
BRENNAN: No. No, we’re working together.
AMY: Cause I’m picking up a bit of a sex vibe.
BRENNAN: No, that’s tension. He has a girlfriend.
AMY: Figures. Should’ve jumped him when I had the chance.
BRENNAN: You’re really interested in Booth?
AMY: You aren’t?
AMY: Well then why are you helping him?
BRENNAN: Because he asked me. He said please.
AMY: Come on. You think he’s hot.
BRENNAN: No. Not at all. This is a very interesting case.
Booth is feeling the heat at work…
CULLEN: You want to start, or shall I?
BOOTH: I’m sorry sir, I…
CULLEN: I’ll start. I’m thinking of suspending you for freelancing on a death penalty case we cleared seven years ago.
BOOTH: My intention was just to tie up a few loose ends.
CULLEN: If you want to question him, fine. Is that the end of your involvement, Agent Booth?
BOOTH: Not exactly. They’re moving to exhume the victim’s body, sir.
CULLEN: On whose recommendation?
BOOTH: The young idealist lawyer… and Dr. Brennan.
CULLEN: Got the squints involved. Well, if she shoots anybody this time, I sure the hell hope it’s you.
Booth and Brennan share the same zeal for the truth…
AMY: Judge Cohen, I have the arresting officer right here. The primary investigator.
COHEN: Agent Booth. Have you suddenly decided that Howard Epps is not guilty?
BOOTH: I think there are doubts, and when it comes to an execution, there shouldn’t be any doubts.
AMY: This is so barbaric. When are they gonna put a stop to the damn death penalty?
BRENNAN: I believe in the death penalty.
BRENNAN: There are certain people that shouldn’t be in this world. The people who hacked hundreds of innocent children to death in Rwanda, beheaded them at their desks at school. The people who did that? They should be executed.
AMY: So why do you care about Epps?
BRENNAN: Because the facts have to add up. Drop me at the lab, please.
Even in their search for the truth of the case, Brennan needs to find out more of Booth’s truth.
BRENNAN: I need a shovel…Are you gonna help?
BOOTH: Well I would, but this is a $1200 suit.
BRENNAN: Are you kidding me? I haven’t slept in 48 hours and you’re worried about your suit? Get over here.
BOOTH: Fine. Can I get a shovel? Thanks.
BRENNAN: What would you usually be doing?
BRENNAN: If it were a normal weekend.
BOOTH: You want to discuss this now?
BRENNAN: Compared to you with your multiple sex partners…
BOOTH: You know, that’s none of your business, okay? I’m not having sex with Amy, and I have never ever cheated on any woman that I’ve ever been with. Never!
BRENNAN: I just asked what you’d normally be doing.
BOOTH: I’d be at a movie, dancing… being with somebody that I care about. (which he’s doing right now even though its a crime scene!) You?
But this truth fest is interrupted by finding skulls.
BOOTH: Epps. It was Epps. He snatched April from the park after she ran from Ross, and brought her here to his killing grounds.
BRENNAN: Why did he take her back to the park?
BOOTH: He watched them have sex; he saw them argue. Epps knew suspicions would fall on Ross, and he took her back.
BRENNAN: And stole her car.
BOOTH: We got played.
BRENNAN: What? How?
BOOTH: Either way, Epps wins. We find Ross, the execution is stopped. We find these bodies…
BRENNAN: The execution is stayed until these murders are investigated.
BOOTH: If I don’t make this call, he’s gonna be dead in half an hour.
BRENNAN: But these women, they deserve to be heard. It’s what we do, Booth.
EPPS: And I owe you too. I read your book. When I read you were working with Booth here, I knew you were just what I needed.
Fierce Brennan breaks his wrist in response.
BRENNAN: You gonna arrest me for assault?
BOOTH: From what I saw, purely self defense.
BRENNAN: Maybe I shouldn’t carry a gun after all.
BOOTH: Hell, you can have mine.
Time for a Sid’s post-case wrap up!
BRENNAN: Are you in trouble with your boss?
BOOTH: I’m sorry for wrecking your weekend for nothing.
BRENNAN: No, not for nothing.
BOOTH: Come on, you know what I mean. You know, all that running around, it didn’t change anything. Epps was guilty. He was always guilty.
BRENNAN: There was doubt. We had an obligation to respect that doubt. We all share in the death of every human being.
BOOTH: Very poetic.
BRENNAN: No, very literal. We all share DNA. When I look at a bone, it’s not some artifact that I can separate from myself. It’s a part of a person who got here the same way I did. It should never be easy to take someone’s life. I don’t care who it is. What? What?
BOOTH: You know, you’ve been practicing your Nobel Prize speech just a little too much.
Sid hands Booth his favorite snack! Pie predated the diner!
SID: Apple pie, hot cup of joe. To simple pleasures, my friends. Simple pleasures.
And once more, because it’s funny-
Thoughts, feelings, observations? I just love how Brennan can’t stop trying to figure out the puzzle of Booth and how Booth feels like he always has to defend his lifestyle to her. They both protest so much!