“The Woman in the Sand”
Written By: Elizabeth Benjamin
Directed by: Kate Woods
We open on a desert crime scene. B&B are bickering as per usual.
BOOTH: Woah. So, I dragged out one of the top Forensic Anthropologists across the country on the word of a prostitute?
BRENNAN: What difference does her profession make?
BOOTH: I’m backing you up.
BRENNAN: What? You’re judging.
BOOTH: I wasn’t judging. I had your back.
BRENNAN: Yes, your voice was judging.
BOOTH: I had your back.
AGENT ERIC ZHANG: Anyway….
Brennan spots circling vultures and discovers a new victim nearby. They discover the victim had been beaten. They assume abuse and investigate. The investigation leads them to a casino in Vegas.
BOOTH: Okay, just uh…give me a moment.
BRENNAN: Oh my god! I completely forgot! You can’t be here Booth. You’re a degenerate gambler.
I love how she looks out for him at that moment.
BOOTH: Former gambler, okay? Not degenerate, I been through the program, okay, and you know what? He’s on the move.
BRENNAN: Okay but what if you got a sudden urge to gamble while you’re here? I mean it’s like sending an alcoholic to a distillery. Do you need to sit down?
BOOTH: No. I’m fine it’s just, you know, the sound of the winning. It’ll…it’ll pass.
Booth leaves Brennan to observe the culture of the casino while he questions a suspect.
He comes back to find Brennan busy.
Black Jack Dealer: Nineteen’s a winner.
BRENNAN: Yes! Yes.
BOOTH: Uh, hey, Bones!
BRENNAN: Oh, Booth! Have you ever played this game before? It’s basic math. You just count the cards and then you know what the dealer has left.
BOOTH: Yeah, uh, ixnay. Ixnay.
BRENNAN: And the most common card is a ten, because of the face card, so if you just always assume the down card’s a ten-
PIT Boss: I’m sorry. I’m afraid you’re gonna have to-
BOOTH: We were just about to leave. Thanks. Come on.
BRENNAN: But I was just getting good.
BOOTH: …at cheating, Bones. That’s what counting cards is.
BRENNAN: It’s not cheating! It’s strategy.
BOOTH: Not to them, it’s not.
BRENNAN: Well, what is the fun in that? I mean, the odds are completely skewed in the dealer’s favor.
Back at the lab, they figure out the victim was not abused, she was boxer.
Brennan meets a pal of Booth’s in Vegas.
BOOTH: Good old Frankie boy huh? How’s Karen?
FRANKIE DANIELS: Nah…nah. It’s over, ya know. She ran off with some loser stockbroker. Ya know, it’s just as well. I don’t need that.
BOOTH: Oh, come on, Frankie. You alright? I mean, you don’t need any-
FRANKIE DANIELS: Don’t start with that, huh? It’s been too many years. I’m getting by alright?
BOOTH: Yeah. Guys like Lou Mackey?
FRANKIE DANIELS: Yeah, well ya know, minor, uh, minor occupational hazard.
BRENNAN: Have you considered medication?
BOOTH: Oh, Bones…
BRENNAN: An anti-depressant might raise your nor-epinephrine level. It could help control the impulsivity.
FRANKIE DANIELS: What are you, a drug rep now or something?
FRANKIE DANIELS: Hey, uh, think you can spot me a couple of bucks? I think I forgot my wallet at the house today, you know?
It’s undercover time!
BRENNAN: Hey, what do you think?
BOOTH: I have enough Bibles, thank you, but try next door.
BRENNAN: You said I could be a school teacher.
BOOTH: Not the spinster kind who lives with his sister but ya know – the hot one who makes the boys crazy. Here, put on the one – that I picked out. Alright?
BRENNAN: Ok, but don’t be so bossy.
BOOTH: We’re newlyweds, I said. Takin’ Sin City by storm. Ready for action.
BRENNAN: But you know, marriage is such an archaic institution-
BOOTH: Listen Bones, I know what I’m doing. Okay? I’ve done this before. Just stop arguing.
BRENNAN: I’m not. It’s just, you know, I don’t need a piece of paper to prove my commitment.
BOOTH: Fine. We’re engaged.
BRENNAN: Why would I be okay with engagement?
BOOTH: Whatever, Bones, alright? We’re a loosely committed couple of hot high rollers. See, with money to burn. Cause that is what’s gonna get us in the door.
BRENNAN: Like this?
BOOTH: That’s hot.
Forgot that you were on the phone, eh Booth?
ANGELA: Hot? Wait a minute, what’s hot?
BRENNAN: Ah, nothing. Vegas. Vegas -is hot. It’s – very hot here.
B&B head off in their new duds to investigate.
BRENNAN: Oh, yeah! My man’s in great shape. Believe me.
BOOTH: Easy there, honey.
NICK: Let’s see it, Army. Show us those moves that made you so famous.
BRENNAN: Yeah, go ahead tiger!
BOOTH: Yeah, maybe I will, okay? Just a little.
JOE: Yeah, come on, tiger!
BOOTH: Alright, let’s see Joe. A little, you know tap, you know, juke to the body, with a hard right, followed by a whole bunch of these-
BRENNAN: So much for my ‘has been’ army fighter.
JOE: What’s your name?
BOOTH: Tony Scallion, here’s my fianceé, uh, Roxanne.
BRENNAN: We’re more ‘’engaged to be engaged’’
BRENNAN: Ah, what did I tell you, Tony? That guy was just trying to hit on me.
JOE: Well, I do know a number you can call. Not that I’d give it to just anybody.
NICK: Oh, come on, Joe. They seem like such nice people.
BRENNAN: Yeah, we’re nice people.
JOE: Thousand bucks. Each.
BOOTH: Whoa. That’s a little steep-
BRENNAN: No, Tony, come on! We only live once and I want to see a fight.
NICK: Nothing like being a kept man, huh?
BOOTH: Yeah, I don’t know what I’d do without her.
BOOTH: That was amazing! What got into you?
BRENNAN: It’s from when I used to watch old movies with my dad. He really liked Clara Bow.
BOOTH: Clara Bow was a silent film star, Bones.
BRENNAN: Yeah, but – but I guess that’s how I always imagined she sounded.
BOOTH: Just like you imagined she carried around a wad of cash?
BRENNAN: Oh, that. Well, I couldn’t sleep last night, so I snuck off to play a little crap.
BOOTH: Craps, Bones. Plural. And I can’t believe your beginners luck.
BRENNAN: Don’t say that! You’ll jinx it.
BOOTH: Since when do you believe in jinx’s?
Brennan reverts from Roxie to Dr. Brennan.
BRENNAN: I suppose, from an anthropological standpoint, this taps into the nihilistic part of the human psyche fascinated by blood and gore.
BOOTH: It’s human cock-fighting.
BRENNAN: More like lesser surrogates engaged in battles on behalf of the elite lords who don’t have the courage to fight themselves.
BOOTH: Alright, you know what? Come back to me Roxie, huh?
BRENNAN: Ewww, look at all the sweat!
Booth gets in the fighting and wins, with medical advice from Brennan.
BRENNAN: So we were right. Billie bet on herself, which is why I bet on you.
BOOTH: You bet on me?
BRENNAN: Yeah, With Nick, the guy from Nolan’s gym. It was one of two reasons, actually, but when I heard the odds I couldn’t-
BOOTH: My odds?
BOOTH: What were they?
BRENNAN: You were a 20-to-1 underdog, So I bet with Nick figuring that-
BOOTH: Wait. 20-to-1 against? Really? Did I look that bad?
BRENNAN: If Nick pays me, he’s not our guy. But if he doesn’t pay me, it may not prove he killed Billie, but it’ll put him in a strong contention.
BOOTH: At the very least. Very smart, Bones. What was the other reason?
BRENNAN: Come on. I have winnings to collect.
Brennan and Booth get told they don’t get their money. Booth and Brennan reveal their identities and tell Joe they suspect him of the murders. Joe says he merely helped dispose of them.
JOE: That’s what happens when your luck turns in this town. You keep hoping it’s going to turn around again. Hoping you’re going to get back to even. But you never do.
B&B begin packing up to go home.
BOOTH: So what was the, uh, second reason?
BOOTH: Uh, you never told me the second reason why, uh, why you bet on me.
BRENNAN: Yeah, it was…silly.
BOOTH: Well, come on. Try me
BRENNAN: Beginner’s Luck. I haven’t lost at anything since I’ve been here. So, well, I – I figured if I bet on you, then-
BOOTH: I couldn’t lose.
BRENNAN: Sounds silly, right?
BOOTH: It sounds familiar. Thanks
BRENNAN: You’re welcome.
BRENNAN: You ready?
BOOTH: Yeah, let’s go.
There’s a lot to like about this episode. B&B going undercover. Brennan being careful to not threaten Booth’s addiction. Booth getting distracted by Brennan’s extra hot ensembles and attitude. B&B allowing themselves to kind of act on their feelings. And they are both so GORGEOUS. *swoon*