“The Priest in the Churchyard”
Written By: Lyla Oliver
Directed by: Scott Lautanen
Shockingly, Brennan does not hit it off well with the priest at the crime scene at a church graveyard.
BOOTH: He’s an old-school priest, Bones.
BRENNAN: What, so I’m supposed to walk on eggshells because someone believes that a plot of earth has supernatural properties because they waved a wand over it?
BOOTH: It’s not a wand, it’s a… the church doesn’t use wands…
BRENNAN: Fine, magic wand.
BOOTH: Magic? Holy water.
BRENNAN: The terminology makes it real?
BOOTH: Okay, you know what, I can’t work with you on this case.
BRENNAN: What, what do you mean? The victim was clearly murdered; we investigate murders. Together.
ZACK: There’s evidence of blood pooling on the frontal bone, and an absence of concentric fractures. That requires investigation.
BOOTH: I’m not working the whole case with you attacking my beliefs. You should have just sailed off with your boyfriend.
BRENNAN: Funny, a man who believes in an invisible super-being wants to run my personal life.
ZACK: Death would have followed quickly, caused by cranio-cerebral trauma.
BOOTH: By the way, 90% of the world believes in God.
BRENNAN: And at one time, most people were certain that the sun revolved around the earth.
BOOTH: You see what I mean? I don’t think this is about religion at all. We obviously have issues, okay, that are affecting our working relationship. And you’re afraid to deal with them, so you just lash out at my religion.
BRENNAN: Can’t you just be satisfied that if I’m wrong about God, I’ll burn in hell?
BOOTH: It’s tempting.
B&B investigate. Brennan still butts heads with the priests.
BOOTH: You know, it doesn’t help the case for you to insult the priest. We’re supposed to be gaining their trust so they’ll help us.
BRENNAN: Matt wasn’t threatened, you were.
BOOTH: We’re definitely not working well together.
BRENNAN: Because you are bossy and judgmental.
BOOTH: Problems between people, it’s never just one person’s fault.
BRENNAN: What about Hitler? He did pretty well on his own.
BOOTH: Bones, just… come with me to go see Dr. Wyatt, once.
BRENNAN: No. Therapy is a vague and inexact process. The man shouldn’t even be called a doctor.
BOOTH: Well, he helped me. I mean, are you so threatened that you can’t even do a favor for someone you call a friend?
BRENNAN: I will speak my mind, Booth. I will speak my mind.
Brennan meets Gordon Gordon.
BOOTH: She refers to God as my invisible friend.
BRENNAN: You’re talking to somebody who isn’t there. I’m sure that the doctor questions your little fantasy.
WYATT: My beliefs aren’t at issue here, Dr. Brennan.
BOOTH: Clearly, she’s intolerant, and it’s affecting our working relationship.
BRENNAN: Yes, he’s very difficult to work with. Booth said that you could fix us, so…
WYATT: You weren’t fighting about religion.
BRENNAN: But that’s what Booth said.
WYATT: No, religion provided the flashpoint you needed to expose an underlying issue. I will find out what that issue is, help you resolve it, and set right the balance of dark and light in the universe.
BOOTH: Isn’t he great?
Meanwhile, Hodgins and Angela defile all the rooms of their workplace.
Brennan talks to Wyatt again at the interrogation room.
BRENNAN: Booth kicked me out of here.
WYATT: For you to say kicked out means that you’ve acquiesced in the idea that this is his domain.
BRENNAN: Domain… yes. He’s good at questioning people. He can… he can tell when they’re lying.
WYATT: Can you?
BRENNAN: I’ve learned a lot from him about people.
WYATT: So, if you’re so uncomfortable here, why come?
BRENNAN: Because something goes on in here. He does something.
WYATT: And you want to find out what it is, dissect it, so that you can do it yourself.
WYATT: So that you can do it without Booth. So that you won’t need him anymore.
BRENNAN: No! I just want to observe.
WYATT: Surely if you want to observe, you can do that on the other side of the mirror there; instead of insisting on being in this room, with him, out of your element.
BRENNAN: Observation isn’t just seeing, Dr. Wyatt, it’s experiencing. Ideally I prefer being inside Booth’s head. You know, seeing and feeling things the way he does. Then maybe I’d understand.
WYATT: Be one with him.
BRENNAN: In a scientific sense.
Uh-huh, Brennan. We all believe you.
B&B work the case and end up at the diner.
BRENNAN: I have no intuition.
BOOTH: None. Zilch.
BRENNAN: You have no analytical skills. I mean, you’re all about emotion and feeling.
BRENNAN: They say that means you have a well-developed feminine side.
BOOTH: Who says that?
BRENNAN: What? You’re the one who believes in them.
B&B start bickering over religion again, and Gordon Gordon shows up.
WYATT: Quarrelling? Yes, of course you are. Uh, cup of coffee please, dearie darling. I am here to put right what has been rent asunder.
BOOTH: Great, he’s figured out our problem.
BRENNAN: From three meetings?
WYATT: I knew what your problem was right off the bat, if you’ll forgive the cricketing metaphor. The meetings were for fun. Booth never knows where to stand when he’s in the lab, feels like teats on a bull whenever he’s there. Ditto Dr. Brennan in the interrogation room. Simple geography, sense of belonging, et cetera.
BOOTH: But that’s not the main problem.
BRENNAN: He can’t possibly know.
WYATT: Yes I do. You’re both afraid that the reason Dr Brennan didn’t sail off into the sunset with her boyfriend Sully might have been because of her ties to Agent Booth. You are both quite wrong.
BRENNAN: Why didn’t I go with Sully?
BOOTH: How’s he supposed to know?
BRENNAN: Sully is perfect! We communicated well, the sex was incredible, he invited me to sail around the South Seas in a beautiful yacht for a year. I mean, why would anyone turn that down?
WYATT: In my opinion, you are unable to lead a purposeless life at this stage in your psychosocial development. Which, by the way, is an issue you should address, because a certain amount of purposelessness is necessary to lead a full life.
BRENNAN: I hate psychology.
BOOTH: You don’t like it because he’s saying that all this tension between me and you is…your fault.
WYATT: Mmm, on the contrary. If anything, your issues are more pronounced, given that your behavior is being affected by what turns out to be a quite irrational fear of being responsible for someone else’s destiny.
BRENNAN: That makes sense.
BOOTH: Oh, now you like psychology.
WYATT: I think you’ll both be able to work together just fine, now that your minds have been set at ease. And thank you, dear. Ta-ta then.
Gordon Gordon leaves and B&B go back to discussing the case and the sick priest.
BRENNAN: But he hasn’t shown any sighs of recovery.
BRENNAN: I feel that’s weird. I mean, his symptoms should have cleared up by now. I feel that since Father McCourt was poisoned…
BOOTH: We should have Father Matt checked for the same poison. Ahhh.
BOOTH: We’re back!
BRENNAN: We’re back!
Haha Dr. Wyatt worked his magic.
Brennan confides in Angela.
ANGELA: So things are alright?
BRENNAN: According to the psychiatrist, we were both concerned that Booth was the reason that I didn’t run off with Sully.
ANGELA: It wasn’t?
BRENNAN: No, it’s because I’m currently unable to live a life without tangible focus, so, you know, sailing around paradise with a man I adore…
ANGELA: And you believe that?
BRENNAN: Well, if I expect people to defer to me as an anthropologist, I have to concede to their fields of expertise.
BRENNAN: And our working relationship has definitely improved, so…
ANGELA: Mmm. Maybe I should talk to this guy.
ANGELA: Hodgins asked me to move in with him, but I’m… I’m not sure. I mean, what’s the problem? Hodgins is perfect. I’m nuts about him.
BRENNAN: I’ll call the doctor.
They figure out the woman working at the parish was poisoning priests.
BRENNAN: Dr Wyatt? We need you to do it with her.
WYATT: W-would that I could, but uh, unfortunately my heart belongs to another.
ANGELA: No, it’s actually my boyfriend… asked me to move in with him, and I need to know if I should or not.
BRENNAN: I told her to come talk to you.
WYATT: Look, I absolutely refuse to be relegated to the role of some sort of advice columnist, or daytime television shrink.
ANGELA: Well, Brennan says that you are the only psychological type who’s ever made any sense to her.
WYATT: Yes, well, now of course you’re flattering me, so obviously I’m helpless. Alright, so, what made you think you should move with him in the first place?
BRENNAN: The closet test.
ANGELA: Over half of his closet is filled with my things.
WYATT: I see, and what about your own closet? It overfloweth with his things, does it?
ANGELA: Uh, no. It doth not.
WYATT: Well then, I suggest you wait until it does, thus rendering you manifest equals. Tabling until that day, the vexed question of who should move in with whom.
ANGELA: He is good.
BRENNAN: I told you.
WYATT: As a stopgap, you should remove enough clothing from his closet, so as to occupy less than thirty percent of the space.
ANGELA: You know, the accent makes everything that you say sound really smart.
WYATT: Oh, you’re not leaving, are you Dr Brennan?
BRENNAN: Uh, Booth and I have to put our notes together for the prosecutor, so…
WYATT: And so, you and Booth, you making any further assumptions about each other?
BRENNAN: No. No assumptions. Thanks.
ANGELA: Look at that. You fixed them too.
ANGELA: Alright, listen up, Monty Python. You got it right with Hodgins and I, that’s fine. But we both know that you are full of it on the other thing.
WYATT: I have no idea to what you refer.
ANGELA: Brennan didn’t run off with Sully because she cannot live a life without focus. She stayed because of Booth.
WYATT: Ah, now you’re projecting, Ms Montenegro. Agent Booth and Dr Brennan are not you and Dr Hodgins. I stand by my diagnosis.
ANGELA: You stand by the FBI. Your first priority is to get agents back into the field, solving murders.
WYATT: Mmm. Your romanticism is endearing, but as the Bard says, “lovers and madmen have such seething brains, such shaking fantasies, that apprehend more than cool reason ever comprehends.”
ANGELA: He also says “journeys end in lovers meeting, every wise man’s son doth know.”
WYATT: Hmmm. Excellent.
ANGELA: You betcha, Monty.
WYATT: You are good.
*Wish we could’ve had more Gordon Gordon, especially in later season. I know they tried with making up the random Booth friend “Aldo” but it just wasn’t the same!
*I love how easily B&B jumped on the suggestion that they aren’t fighting because of Sully. Even Brennan who hates psychology likes Wyatt for giving her an “out”. Do you think B&B actually realize what Wyatt is doing, or are they subconsciously reacting? Obviously Angela figures out what the good doctor is up to!
*Love that they let B&B grow in their understanding of each other on the faith/religion issue as the series progressed.