Aliens in a Spaceship (2×9)

 

Written By: Janet Tamaro

Directed by: Craig Ross, Jr.

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Editorial comment: This is one of my favorite Bones episodes OF ALL TIME. It literally has everything. Intrigue, an interesting case, everyone working together as a team, Booth running in slo-mo, a religion discussion at the end. It’s so Bones. It’s the best of Bones all working together. Sigh. Ok, back to business.

BRENNAN: Oh God. What – What happened? Where am I?

BRENNAN: Ugh. Oh god.

BRENNAN: Hodgins. Hodgins. Are you all right? Can you talk? Your legs. What happened to your legs?

HODGINS: Where are we?

BRENNAN: We’re buried alive. He must have got us.

HODGINS: Who?

BRENNAN: The Grave Digger.

(48 Hours Earlier)

B&B are called to the scene of two boys buried underground. Local police think it’s aliens. Brennan identifies them as humans and Booth finds out they are twin brothers who had been missing.

KIM: The Kent boys were The Grave Diggers third victims.

SANDERS: Third of the six we know of. Uh, all together, four paid the ransom and lived.

BRENNAN: ..and the other one that didn’t?

KIM: Never found him.

SANDERS: That’s why they call him The Grave Digger. Uh, he takes people and he buries them. You pay the ransom and he tells them how to dig them up. You don’t — and uh — you never see them again. You won’t catch him.

BOOTH: All due respect, uh — Agent Sanders – uh, we have the beer vat and the human remains.

KIM: What are two dead bodies gonna tell you that four live victims couldn’t?

BOOTH: Dr. Brennan. She’s pretty good at uh, making dead people tell her things.

Booth knows our girl can do it!

JANINE: You know. Most kidnappers are caught because they start negotiating the ransom. The Grave Digger, simply won’t play.

BOOTH: Really not looking to help you write another book, ya know. Capturing The Grave Digger.

VEGA: Agent Booth. I have seen what this guy does to families. Upclose. Ya know what, dislike me as much as you want but I’m still gonna help ya because.. I want this bastard caught.

BRENNAN: You were kinda mean to them.

BOOTH: Yeah. Thanks.

LOL

B&B talk to the grieving father. Brennan shows compassion. They let the father know there was nothing he could have done differently and it wasn’t his fault.

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KENT: God, there’s no way that they deserved suffocation. Is it – painful?

BRENNAN: Like falling asleep.

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BRENNAN: Mr. Kent, The Grave Digger lied to you and the FBI.

VEGA: That’s unlikely. He doesn’t play games.

BRENNAN: Mr. Kent, is there any way you could have put together the ransom in 12 hours?

KENT: No way in the world.

VEGA: Which is exactly why The Grave Digger provided Mr. Kent with 24 hours.

BOOTH: His sons only had enough air for 12 hours.

KENT: Oh, my god…

BOOTH: Even if you had ignored the FBI and listened to Mr. Vega, you still wouldn’t have been able to save your sons.

VEGA: You’re backstopping for the bureau.

BRENNAN: There were two of them in that vat. They used up their oxygen twice as fast. The Grave Digger miscalculated.

VEGA: No, he doesn’t do that.

BRENNAN: Then it was never his intention that these boys survive.

BOOTH: He just didn’t care, Mr. Kent.

KENT: So my decision to listen to the FBI – to not pay the ransom…

BRENNAN: If you’d paid the ransom, your sons would still have been dead by the time you got to them.

BOOTH: There is nothing you could have done, Mr. Kent. You are in no way responsible for the death of your sons.

Time for a good ol’ B&B religion talk.

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BRENNAN: Had it occurred to you that God, is a lot like The Grave Digger?

BOOTH: Wha…What?

BRENNAN: He lays down the rules. Not way to question him or negotiate. Then it’s almost as though he doesn’t care how it works out. Either you do as he says – make some sacrifices and they’re delivered or you don’t and you end up in hell.

BOOTH: You know what? I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say things like that because I really don’t want to get struck by lightning.

BRENNAN: Do you go to church every Sunday?

BOOTH: Yes, I do.

BRENNEN: Can I come with you?

BOOTH: No. You can’t.

BRENNAN: Why? It might help me to understand.

BOOTH: I am not going to help you disrespect God in His own house. Okay, if you want to do some kind of , ya know, anthropological study – turn on the religious channel.

The team puts together the scenario of the crime.

ANGELA: The leg damage. The fractured pelvis..

BRENNAN: These injuries are classic human vs. car.

BOOTH: Ryan interrupts the kidnapping of his brother…

BRENNAN: ..and The Grave Digger runs him down.

BOOTH: It was a mistake. The Grave Digger is not God, Bones, because God does not make mistakes.

ANGELA: Hmm. I don’t know. Putting testicles on the outside – didn’t seem like such a good idea.

And a touch of that Bones humor!

HODGINS: You haven’t figured out the stun gun, then I am this weeks “King of the Lab”, cause I found something huge.

ANGELA: You compete – to be “King of the Lab”?

HODGINS: No….Hey Angela. I, I didn’t know – that you were – this sucks. I’m gonna go, catch Brennan then bolt for the night.

ANGELA: She just left.

ANGELA: Hey.  Could you stop being so weird? Please? It’s making me very uncomfortable.

ZACK: You should give him a chance.

ANGELA: Excuse me?

ZACK: I apologize. I didn’t say anything.

ANGELA: mmhmm.

Love that Zach and  Hodgins lab bromance.

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CAM: What do you say we go to New York for the weekend?

BOOTH: Yeah, I don’t know.

CAM: Come on! We’re two adults with no obligations. Let it go to voice mail. We’re not cheating. We’re not hurting anybody, Seeley.

BOOTH: Then why are we keeping our relationship such a secret, Camille?

CAM: Because we work together and we’re professionals and it’s nobody’s business. That’s all. So come to New York. We’ll go to a musical

BOOTH: Talking and singing and talking and dancing and more singing. Ya know, if you want to stop what we’re doing – just say so.

CAM: You can fantasize about pulling out your gun and shooting everyone on stage. You know you like that. Seriously, we’ll do something you like. Like, climbing the outside of the Empire State building or swimming the East River…or…….What? What happened?

THE GRAVE DIGGER: Temperance Brennan and Jack Hodgins have been buried alive. Wire transfer $8 million to the following Grand Cayman account or they will suffocate to death.

Now the situation is critical! Find Brennan and Hodgins!

VEGA: Why is The Grave Digger demanding so much money? It’s doesn’t make any sense.

JANINE: Well, he’s always been reasonable at knowing how much people can raise within the time limit.

VEGA: Has – uh – Dr. Brennan made that much money from her books?

BOOTH: It’s Hodgins. He’s the sole heir to this thing called The Cantilever Group

The team springs into action.

CAM: How are we gonna get our hands on $8 Million?

ZACK: Hodgins is rich.

CAM: He is?

ZACK: “Rich squared to the power of ten times four” is how he describes it.

ANGELA: You’re gonna pay the ransom, right?

BOOTH: Yes. FBI standard ops, they won’t work. Grave Digger operates outside statistics.

CAM: They’ll fire you.

BOOTH: Ah, that’s cool. One less reason to wear a suit.

LOL

 

Cam and Zack discuss the evidence.

ZACK: I did figure out how Ryan Kent died.

CAM: Let’s hear it.

ZACK: He killed himself. He punctured his own carotid artery, which explains the amount of blood we found in the vat. He used a pen. There’s a nick on the inferior angle of the mandible. I don’t know why he did it, I don’t really do “Why”, I just do “How”.

CAM: He did it to give his brother more air – so his twin would survive. That’s why we found them holding each other.

ZACK: How does that help?

CAM: When we tell Mr. Kent that one of his son’s gave his own life in an effort to save his brother, it’ll mean something, Zack.

Brennan performs a procedure on Hodgins to help with his legs. He wakes up to find Brennan tinkering with a phone and the car.

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BRENNAN: Hotwiring the phone to the horn so we can send a message.

HODGINS: From underground?

BRENNAN: We get radio reception.

HODGINS: Direct current 12 volt will burn out the circuits in a 4.2 volt cell phone in a microsecond. Better jerry-rig a resistor.

BRENNAN: Smart.

HODGINS: Might work long enough to send a single burst transmission.

BRENNAN: Very short text message. Booth can trace it to a cell phone relay tower.

Brennan decides to use the pricey perfume to help them get out. Hodgins hesitates.

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BRENNAN: Hodgins, I will split the cost when we get out of here.

HODGINS: There’s something you don’t know about me. I’m rich.

BRENNAN: Me too.

HODGINS: No. No. You’re – well off. My family owns The Cantilever Group and there’s not many of us left alive. One to be exact. Me.

BRENNAN: Okay. I won’t split it with you.

Back on the surface, Booth is OVER IT with the Grave Digger “expert”.

VEGA: Are you nuts? I hate the son of a bitch.

BOOTH: Why? He’s made you rich.

VEGA: You know what? You just need to deal with the facts. That if you can’t put the ransom together in the time he gave you, your partner is dead.

BOOTH: Here’s the deal, all right. You have a relationship with this guy, what they call symbiotic – you benefit from each other – hmm. So know this. That deadline comes around, and my partner is still underground – I will end you. You understand? Yeah? Three hours to live. Better hurry.

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He’s so handsome when he’s threatening people for his partner. Aw. 

Brennan and Hodgins’ message gets through.

BOOTH: Does it mean anything to anybody?

CAM: They’re getting low on oxygen.

ZACK: Hypoxia leads to mental confusion.

BOOTH: It’s Bones. It means something.

ANGELA: Did you try just dialing the number?

BOOTH: I tried all the dumb guy, normal stuff. Okay, that’s why I’m here talking to the Brain Trust. All right. Think! Eggheads. Work it!

CAM: Booth. They’re not cops!

BOOTH: We’re running out of time.

ZACK: Minor correction. Dr. Brennan and Hodgins run out of air in….4 seconds. We are out of time.

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Hodgins and Brennan get extra air from the trunk. Hodgins is losing hope.

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HODGINS: If the ransom was paid, we’d be out by now. Why prolong the inevitable?

 

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Booth is NOT giving up. He has faith, baby.

ZACK: You’re forgetting something. Brennan and Hodgins are out of air.

BOOTH: Great. You wanna give up, huh? This is Bones we’re talking about and Hodgins. You really think they didn’t find a way to extend their air supply! Hell, they found a way to send us a message to ask us for help and you want to give up because of math.

Brennan has one last idea.

BRENNAN: Airbags.

HODGINS: They aren’t actually bags of air.

BRENNAN: I’m not looking to extend our survival underground. I’m looking to blow our way out of here.

HODGINS: Using the explosives from the air bags? That could definitely kill us.

BRENNAN: So will doing nothing.

HODGINS:  Anyone you wanna say goodbye to?

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The team can’t figure out the text message.

CAM: Can I make a suggestion? See, this is exactly why I was sent here. You guys are brilliant, but you won’t make intuitive leaps.

ZACK: You mean ‘jump to conclusions”

CAM: That’s exactly what I mean. This is a message from one of them to one of us. Specific. Focused. Who was it meant to get to?

BOOTH: Easy. Brennan’s cell to mine, right? The message was for me. We have an understanding, we work together.

ANGELA: We all work together. She’s my best friend. And Hodgins – Hodgins –

CAM: She’s right. We should assume the message is from Hodgins not from Brennan.

BOOTH: Why?

CAM: Because they’re buried alive…

ANGELA: And Hodgins is all about dirt.

BOOTH: Okay. Great. The message is about dirt, but who’s it to?

ZACK: Angela. Hodgins is all about dirt and Angela.

ANGELA: But it’s numbers, Zack. It’s for you.

They figure out the location and race to it. Brennan and Hodgins do their last idea.

BRENNAN: Ready?

HODGINS: Yeah. Dr. Brennan. It’s been a privilege.

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I found this recap on thetvmouse.com and I couldn’t say it better, so:

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Angela has a heart to heart with Hodgins.

HODGINS: He’s out there, Angela. He buries people alive. I have to catch him. If I can figure out the exact alloy of aluminum, then maybe I could – maybe we could. Plus the bit of –of – bumper sticker that Brennan found in my leg…

ANGELA: We’re gonna catch him, okay. I promise you. We’re gonna start tomorrow. All of us, together.

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HODGINS: I can’t sleep, Angela.

ANGELA: I thought that they gave you something for that?

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HODGINS: Yeah?

ANGELA: Yeah.

HODGINS: Okay. You know I’m good for that crutch money.

Booth has allowed Brennan to accompany him to a church.

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BRENNAN: What did you ask for?

BOOTH: That’s between me and a certain Saint. Although, I did ask for a little help finding The Grave Digger.

BRENNAN: Good move. What’s that smell?

BOOTH: The candles. And I said thanks. You should try it sometime.

BRENNAN: If I were going to pray, I would have done it just before we set off the explosion.

BOOTH: And you didn’t?

BRENNAN: No. See, if there was a God – which there isn’t –

BOOTH: Shhhh. Do you see where we are?

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BRENNAN: And if I were someone who believed he had a plan…

BOOTH: …which I do…

BRENNAN: Then I’d be tempted to think He wanted me to go through something like I went through because it might make me more open to the whole….concept.

BOOTH: Mhmm. It obviously hasn’t.

BRENNAN: I’m okay with you thanking God for saving me and Hodgins.

BOOTH: That’s not what I thanked Him for. I thanked Him for saving…all of us. It was all of us. Every. Single. One. You take one of us away, and you and Hodgins are in that hole forever. And I’m thankful for that.

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BRENNAN: I knew you wouldn’t give up.

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BOOTH: I knew you wouldn’t give up.

This is a glorious episode. Like, it’s perfection. I even like Cam in it because it shows where someone in her position really would be an effective boss. I like everyone’s interactions with each other. There is humor woven within the very serious events happened. Hodgins and Angela get together. B&B have their moment at the end. Everyone gets to show off their strengths.

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What do you all like about this episode?!

 

 

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The Woman in the Sand (2×8)

“The Woman in the Sand”

Written By: Elizabeth Benjamin

Directed by: Kate Woods

We open on a desert crime scene. B&B are bickering as per usual.

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BOOTH: Woah. So, I dragged out one of the top Forensic Anthropologists across the country on the word of a prostitute?

BRENNAN: What difference does her profession make?

BOOTH: I’m backing you up.

BRENNAN: What? You’re judging.

BOOTH: I wasn’t judging. I had your back.

BRENNAN: Yes, your voice was judging.

BOOTH: I had your back.

AGENT ERIC ZHANG: Anyway….

Brennan spots circling vultures and discovers a new victim nearby. They discover the victim had been beaten. They assume abuse and investigate. The investigation leads them to a casino in Vegas.

BOOTH: Okay, just uh…give me a moment.

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BRENNAN: Oh my god! I completely forgot! You can’t be here Booth. You’re a degenerate gambler.

I love how she looks out for him at that moment.

BOOTH: Former gambler, okay? Not degenerate, I been through the program, okay, and you know what? He’s on the move.

BRENNAN: Okay but what if you got a sudden urge to gamble while you’re here? I mean it’s like sending an alcoholic to a distillery. Do you need to sit down?

BOOTH: No. I’m fine it’s just, you know, the sound of the winning. It’ll…it’ll pass.

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Booth leaves Brennan to observe the culture of the casino while he questions a suspect.

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He comes back to find Brennan busy.

Black Jack Dealer: Nineteen’s a winner.

BRENNAN: Yes! Yes.

BOOTH: Uh, hey, Bones!

BRENNAN: Oh, Booth! Have you ever played this game before? It’s basic math. You just count the cards and then you know what the dealer has left.

BOOTH: Yeah, uh, ixnay. Ixnay.

BRENNAN: And the most common card is a ten, because of the face card, so if you just always assume the down card’s a ten-

PIT Boss: I’m sorry. I’m afraid you’re gonna have to-

BOOTH: We were just about to leave. Thanks. Come on.

BRENNAN: But I was just getting good.

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BOOTH: …at cheating, Bones. That’s what counting cards is.

BRENNAN: It’s not cheating! It’s strategy.

BOOTH: Not to them, it’s not.

BRENNAN: Well, what is the fun in that? I mean, the odds are completely skewed in the dealer’s favor.

Back at the lab, they figure out the victim was not abused, she was boxer.

 Brennan meets a pal of Booth’s in Vegas.

 

BOOTH: Good old Frankie boy huh? How’s Karen?

FRANKIE DANIELS: Nah…nah. It’s over, ya know. She ran off with some loser stockbroker. Ya know, it’s just as well. I don’t need that.

BOOTH: Oh, come on, Frankie. You alright? I mean, you don’t need any-

FRANKIE DANIELS: Don’t start with that, huh? It’s been too many years. I’m getting by alright?

BOOTH: Yeah. Guys like Lou Mackey?

FRANKIE DANIELS: Yeah, well ya know, minor, uh, minor occupational hazard.

BRENNAN: Have you considered medication?

BOOTH: Oh, Bones…

BRENNAN: An anti-depressant might raise your nor-epinephrine level. It could help control the impulsivity.

FRANKIE DANIELS: What are you, a drug rep now or something?

FRANKIE DANIELS: Hey, uh, think you can spot me a couple of bucks? I think I forgot my wallet at the house today, you know?

BOOTH: Yeah.

It’s undercover time!

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BRENNAN: Hey, what do you think?

BOOTH: I have enough Bibles, thank you, but try next door.

BRENNAN: You said I could be a school teacher.

BOOTH: Not the spinster kind who lives with his sister but ya know – the hot one who makes the boys crazy. Here, put on the one – that I picked out. Alright?

BRENNAN: Ok, but don’t be so bossy.

BOOTH: We’re newlyweds, I said. Takin’ Sin City by storm. Ready for action.

BRENNAN: But you know, marriage is such an archaic institution-

BOOTH: Listen Bones, I know what I’m doing. Okay? I’ve done this before. Just stop arguing.

BRENNAN: I’m not. It’s just, you know, I don’t need a piece of paper to prove my commitment.

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BOOTH: Fine. We’re engaged.

BRENNAN: Why would I be okay with engagement?

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BOOTH: Whatever, Bones, alright? We’re a loosely committed couple of hot high rollers. See, with money to burn. Cause that is what’s gonna get us in the door.

BRENNAN: Like this?

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BOOTH: That’s hot.

Forgot that you were on the phone, eh Booth?

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ANGELA: Hot? Wait a minute, what’s hot?

BRENNAN: Ah, nothing. Vegas. Vegas -is hot. It’s – very hot here.

B&B head off in their new duds to investigate.

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Dang, they look GOOD.

BRENNAN: Oh, yeah! My man’s in great shape. Believe me.

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BOOTH: Easy there, honey.

NICK: Let’s see it, Army. Show us those moves that made you so famous.

BRENNAN: Yeah, go ahead tiger!

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BOOTH: Yeah, maybe I will, okay? Just a little.

JOE: Yeah, come on, tiger!

BOOTH: Alright, let’s see Joe. A little, you know tap, you know, juke to the body, with a hard right, followed by a whole bunch of these-

BRENNAN: So much for my ‘has been’ army fighter.

JOE: What’s your name?

BOOTH: Tony Scallion, here’s my fianceé, uh, Roxanne.

BRENNAN: We’re more ‘’engaged to be engaged’’

BRENNAN: Ah, what did I tell you, Tony? That guy was just trying to hit on me.

JOE: Well, I do know a number you can call. Not that I’d give it to just anybody.

NICK: Oh, come on, Joe. They seem like such nice people.

BRENNAN: Yeah, we’re nice people.

JOE: Thousand bucks. Each.

BOOTH: Whoa. That’s a little steep-

BRENNAN: No, Tony, come on! We only live once and I want to see a fight.

NICK: Nothing like being a kept man, huh?

BOOTH: Yeah, I don’t know what I’d do without her.

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BOOTH: That was amazing! What got into you?

BRENNAN: It’s from when I used to watch old movies with my dad. He really liked Clara Bow.

BOOTH: Clara Bow was a silent film star, Bones.

BRENNAN: Yeah, but – but I guess that’s how I always imagined she sounded.

BOOTH: Just like you imagined she carried around a wad of cash?

BRENNAN: Oh, that. Well, I couldn’t sleep last night, so I snuck off to play a little crap.

BOOTH: Craps, Bones. Plural. And I can’t believe your beginners luck.

BRENNAN: Don’t say that! You’ll jinx it.

BOOTH: Since when do you believe in jinx’s?

Brennan reverts from Roxie to Dr. Brennan.

BRENNAN: I suppose, from an anthropological standpoint, this taps into the nihilistic part of the human psyche fascinated by blood and gore.

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I think this taps into BRENNAN’S fascination too 🙂

BOOTH: It’s human cock-fighting.

BRENNAN: More like lesser surrogates engaged in battles on behalf of the elite lords who don’t have the courage to fight themselves.

BOOTH: Alright, you know what?  Come back to me Roxie, huh?

BRENNAN: Ewww, look at all the sweat!

LOL.

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Booth gets in the fighting and wins, with medical advice from Brennan.

BRENNAN: So we were right. Billie bet on herself, which is why I bet on you.

BOOTH: You bet on me?

BRENNAN: Yeah, With Nick, the guy from Nolan’s gym. It was one of two reasons, actually, but when I heard the odds I couldn’t-

BOOTH: My odds?

BRENNAN: Yeah.

BOOTH: What were they?

BRENNAN: You were a 20-to-1 underdog, So I bet with Nick figuring that-

BOOTH: Wait. 20-to-1 against? Really? Did I look that bad?

BRENNAN: If Nick pays me, he’s not our guy. But if he doesn’t pay me, it may not prove he killed Billie, but it’ll put him in a strong contention.

BOOTH: At the very least. Very smart, Bones. What was the other reason?

BRENNAN: Come on. I have winnings to collect.

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Brennan and Booth get told they don’t get their money. Booth and Brennan reveal their identities and tell Joe they suspect him of the murders. Joe says he merely helped dispose of them.

JOE: That’s what happens when your luck turns in this town. You keep hoping it’s going to turn around again. Hoping you’re going to get back to even. But you never do.

B&B begin packing up to go home.

BOOTH: So what was the, uh, second reason?

BRENNAN: What?

BOOTH: Uh, you never told me the second reason why, uh, why you bet on me.

BRENNAN: Yeah, it was…silly.

BOOTH: Well, come on. Try me

BRENNAN: Beginner’s Luck. I haven’t lost at anything since I’ve been here. So, well, I – I figured if I bet on you, then-

BOOTH: I couldn’t lose.

BRENNAN: Sounds silly, right?

BOOTH: It sounds familiar. Thanks

BRENNAN: You’re welcome.

BRENNAN: You ready?

BOOTH: Yeah, let’s go.

 

There’s a lot to like about this episode. B&B going undercover. Brennan being careful to not threaten Booth’s addiction. Booth getting distracted by Brennan’s extra hot ensembles and attitude.  B&B allowing themselves to kind of act on their feelings. And they are both so GORGEOUS. *swoon*

Thoughts?

Happy New Year!

Guys, can you believe it has been almost a YEAR since Bones ended? I’m super thankful we have an outlet to still talk and share our favorite things about the show most of us watched for over a decade!!! You guys are awesome! Just wanted to share a quick pic to get us through till regular recaps resume next week!

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Bones Christmas Moments #6

Sigh. And finally, this lovely episode with so much backstory goodness, and Booth as high as a kite. And Wong Foos. And Parker. And DB and ED are just pure perfection.

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We have already recapped this episode on this site, link below.

Boots & Blazers Fallout Shelter Recap

To read Sarah’s take on the ending scene, link below.

Fallout Shelter-Wong Foos-Bones Theory

 

Have a merry, merry Christmas my Bones friends! 🙂

Bones Christmas Moments #5

Ok, this one is one of my favorites, as it is nearest and dearest to my heart. Santa in the Slush–and the that KISS–was my first episode of Bones EVER. What a high bar this show set for my expectations!!

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Yeah. I’m with you Booth. I was stunned.

But just as good is the follow up conversation the dynamic duo has with Sweets in the diner where they talk about the kiss as well as the “lying to children” aspect of Christmas.

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Ah, the leaning in towards each other..

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Booth thinks Sweets is full of it…

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But Brennan considers his words…

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And you gotta love that body language 🙂

And because I cannot do this justice the way Sarah did on Bones Theory, here is the full and complete awesomeness:

Santa in the Slush-Sweets Conversation

Bones Christmas Moments #3

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MAX: This is fun. Isn’t it fun to meet a new relative, girls?

BRENNAN: So, you’re my cousin, Margaret?

MARGARET: My mother was your mother’s cousin, according to Uncle Max.

MAX: It’s an uncanny resemblance. You’re practically sisters.

BRENNAN: Why… why aren’t you home for Christmas?

MARGARET: This time of year, I prefer to be in Philadelphia, away from my family and all those kids.

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BRENNAN: You don’t have children?

MARGARET: “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterward.” I never got to the half-shut part. What’s your excuse?

BRENNAN: For not being married? I don’t have an excuse. I just have very good reasons.

Uh-huh. Protesting too much?

MARGARET: Like what?

BRENNAN: I think that marriage is something you need to have a reason to enter into. I never found that reason.

Wait, I thought she just said she had very good reasons! Get your story straight, girl!

MARGARET: Mmm. I totally agree. “Experience keeps a dear school, but fools learn in no other.”

MAX: You see, Margaret is a big fan of Benjamin Franklin.

MARGARET: Yes. He was the smartest man who ever lived. His advice has never failed me.

BRENNAN: Actually, the person with the highest recorded IQ is Marilyn vos Savant.

MARGARET: Ooh. “Tim was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.”

BRENNAN: I don’t think this is going to work.

MAX: Listen, family reunions are always awkward.

BRENNAN: Well, do you think this is going well?

MARGARET: Not really. You seem like a bit of a know-it-all.

BRENNAN: Nice to meet you, but I’m going to El Salvador for Christmas. You both are welcome to use my place over the holidays.

MARGARET: “He that won’t be counseled can’t be helped.”

LOL. That’s a pretty good one, Margaret!

MAX: I told you to keep to Ben’s scientific stuff.

Good one, Max! He knows his girls!

Brennan checks in with her partner about this new family development.

BOOTH: So, I’ve decided to take you up on your offer.

BRENNAN: What offer?

BOOTH: Uh, you inviting me to your house for Christmas dinner? … You forgot you invited me.

She was distracted by a half-naked Booth at the time so…forgivable.

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BRENNAN: No, it’s just… No! My dad brought by my second cousin and… I really didn’t like her.

BOOTH: Well, that makes sense.

BRENNAN: Why do you say that?

BOOTH: Well, because she’s family. I mean, 90% of the time, family just gets under your skin. That’s the difference between family and friends.

BRENNAN: She’s unapologetically dogmatic. She lives her entire life based on the quotations of Benjamin Franklin.

BOOTH: Maybe she feels the same way about you and your mania for logic.

BRENNAN: Mania?

BOOTH: Okay, enthusiasm. Look, if you ditch this opportunity because a family member annoys you, it just… it just goes with the family territory.

And Booth would know!

Brennan attempts to bond with her cousin/sister.

MARGARET: You’re not going to El Salvador for Christmas?

BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.

MARGARET: You don’t strike me as someone who’s flexible about their schedule.

BRENNAN: Well, I took advice from someone who knows more about families than I do.

MARGARET: “He that raises a large family does stand a broader mark for sorrow, but then, stands a broader mark for pleasure as well.”

BRENNAN: Well, that’s sort of what he said, but without the pleasure part.

Enter the “someone” who gave Brennan life advice.

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BOOTH: Nice tree. Oh, wow, who is this, your sister?

BRENNAN: No, uh… my second cousin.

MARGARET: I’m Margaret.

BRENNAN: There’s no resemblance.

BOOTH: What do you mean? You’re both very beautiful.

Smooth.

MARGARET: “Beauty and folly are old companions.”

BRENNAN: Told you… Benjamin Franklin.

BOOTH: Right, right. Hey, hey! Good old Ben, you know, he invented electricity and the hundred dollar bill.

MARGARET: Neither one of those things is true.

BOOTH: You’re right, there’s no resemblance whatsoever. Nice meeting you, Maggie.

BRENNAN: Bye, Booth.

BOOTH: See ya.

BRENNAN: Uh, that’s my partner. He’s FBI.

MARGARET: His eyes are too small to be really handsome.

BRENNAN: Well, I have to admit, I… find him pleasing to look at.

As do we all, Brennan.

Cut to the Christmas dinner.

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SWEETS: I’m not here for baby Jesus; I’m here for Agent Booth.

CAM: Ah, that explains the antlers.

SWEETS: It was a moment of whimsy.

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ANGELA: So you think that we should feel like big, giant losers that we’re not spending Christmas with family?

HODGINS: There’s more than one kind of family.

The theme of the whole series.

BOOTH: Hey. That’s too much salt there, that’s too much salt.

MARGARET: “He that would fish must venture his bait.”

BOOTH: Bones, when are we gonna eat? I’m starving.

BRENNAN: Well, right now…If Booth wants to fish, he’ll fish. What on earth are you trying to say?

MAX: Honey, families always give unwanted advice.

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BRENNAN: Unwanted advice? You… you have to stop quoting Benjamin Franklin at me.

MARGARET: Why?

BRENNAN: Well, I have no evidence of this, but I feel that every time you do that, it’s not actually communication. I feel the same way when people tell jokes.

MARGARET: Hmm. I never thought of it that way.

BRENNAN: I’d rather hear what you have to say than Benjamin Franklin.

MARGARET: That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.

Brennan is learning to mix in some Boothy empathy in with her own  honesty.

MAX: Tempe. This is your gathering. Wouldn’t you like to say something?

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Proud Papa

BRENNAN: Oh, um…Thank you, everyone, for coming. Let’s eat.

MAX: No. I-I mean, would you like to say something about Christmas?

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BRENNAN: Okay. Um, Christmas has its roots in the pagan festival of Saturnalia, which is traditionally celebrated by intoxication, naked singing and the consumption of human-shaped biscuits.

BOOTH: I think what Bones is trying to say here is that we’re all just happy that we are all together.

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BRENNAN: Well, we’re all together every day.

MARGARET: Not me. No, I’m not here every day.

MAX: Well, it’s a different kind of together.

BOOTH: To family… friends… lovers… family… and food.

BRENNAN: You said “family” twice. It’s repetitious.

BOOTH: It’s a good toast, though. Cheers. Okay?

BRENNAN: Cheers.

ALL: Cheers, Merry Christmas.

BOOTH: All right.

MARGARET: What do we do now?

BOOTH: Ah, let’s say a prayer.

BRENNAN: No, no prayer, not in my place.

BOOTH: Bones, I always pray.

BRENNAN: Maybe just a moment of silence.

BOOTH: Hold hands.

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Family, friends, togetherness…Bones Christmas. 

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